Sunnydale wasn’t a town where homosexuality was accepted. If there was such a thing as a California redneck, the Dale’s residents would qualify. If you wanted to survive to adulthood, you didn’t question your sexuality to closely. Xander thought that survival was more important than anything. Larry changed that, when he admitted that he was attracted to Xander.
Unconditional love and respect was something Xander craved. He’d accept it no matter who gave it to him and how dangerous it was. That didn’t mean that he accepted the fact that he preferred mean. He preferred denial. What did it matter if he had sex with a man as long as he wasn’t gay, right?
It wasn’t until he saw Larry die, that he admitted the truth. He loved Larry. Now he’d never be able to tell Larry that.
Xander wanted to believe that Larry had known of his true feelings, but he knew that it wasn’t likely. He’d treated Larry like crap for their entire relationship, and now he didn’t have a chance to fix it.
He had to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It came to define him and the way he lived his life.
Love and Denial | BtVS, Xander/Larry, high school sweet hearts
Unconditional love and respect was something Xander craved. He’d accept it no matter who gave it to him and how dangerous it was. That didn’t mean that he accepted the fact that he preferred mean. He preferred denial. What did it matter if he had sex with a man as long as he wasn’t gay, right?
It wasn’t until he saw Larry die, that he admitted the truth. He loved Larry. Now he’d never be able to tell Larry that.
Xander wanted to believe that Larry had known of his true feelings, but he knew that it wasn’t likely. He’d treated Larry like crap for their entire relationship, and now he didn’t have a chance to fix it.
He had to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It came to define him and the way he lived his life.