Sometimes Sam wondered what it was about Winchesters and late spring, because it was always May when shit hit the fan. And that particular may was no different. And as usual Castiel got blown up, which as far as tradition went was morbid even for Dean’s taste. By divine intervention feathery bastard survived it, sans feathers of course. Again.
Also now they had not one friendly neighborhood angel who liked to fuck up big time, but two.
“What’s up kiddo?”
Sam looked at the annoying archangel, he idly wondered since when God’s messenger digging into blueberry pancakes across the table in roadside dinner become just another fact of his life. Yeah, sure he had been Lucifer vessel and the whole Apocalypses thing that went down a couple of years ago and a lot of complementary stuff that Sam really didn’t like to think about.
It’s just things refused to go back to normal, even that insane normal that was hunter’s life.
Also he needed to get laid. Just on principal. Because even Dean was starting to look at him strangely. Not that Sam was ready to talk to his older brother about “whys” behind his self-inflicted celibacy.
“Oh that’s interesting. Do tell!”
“Gabriel!”
“What? I’m on parole here. Behaving myself and being little fluffy angel that I never was. And new season of “How Dean and Cas got a clue” is not that interesting. I think they started to repeat themselves. I need something! Even if it’s gossip about your sad non-existent sex life!”
“There is nothing to tell.”
“With you, backo, there is always something to tell and then some.”
Sam signed.
“Ok, just don’t tell Dean. He will flip and…”
Gabriel enthusiastically nodded.
“Yes?”
“It’s me. I used to be you know fairly normal in that department. Never such a horn dog as Dean, but everyone was happy. And then Ruby happened, RoboSam happened, your brother happened.”
Gabriel nodded.
“So basically you are screwed and not in a good way.”
“Yes, but not like Dean thinks, but is too afraid to ask. I’m broken. I want things.”
Gabriel arched an eyebrow.
“Finally getting somewhere. What things?”
Sam hesitated.
“Come one, I’m like a priest, only better.”
“That wasn’t reassuring.”
Gabriel shrugged.
“Winchester!”
“Things that I shouldn’t want. Dark things.”
“S&M? Animals? What?”
“Blood.”
“Huh, kind of expected. Is that it?”
“If only. I don’t remember how do it not hell style. I don’t want to do it other way.”
“So let me get it straight, you want to get laid, but boring normal humans just don’t do it for you.”
“Basically – yes.”
“And demons are not an option.”
Sam cringed.
Gabriel looked thoughtfully at the ceiling.
“Angels?”
“Are you offering?”
“Are you asking?”