Sometimes Tony regrets converting his tower into Avengers headquarters. Steve and his 1940s sensibilities is always turning his nose up at Tony’s choice in TV programmes (the guy has absolutely zero appreciation for the near-genius of HBO); Bruce has a tendency to set the fire alarm off whenever he gets within five feet of the kitchen (How? How?); Clint climbs the furniture and scares the crap out of Tony whenever he starts talking without Tony realising he’s there (fucking hawk); Thor has discovered that he likes scotch and more than once Tony has come in looking for a drink and found all his vintage brand gone (the worst part is that Thor had practically downed the whole decanter); and Natasha always seems to be watching him and recording his movements so that she can go tattle to Fury (fucking spy).

Yet when he runs out of his lab because the alarm is wailing and JARVIS is telling him that there is an emergency in the living area and he finds the other Avengers gathered there under a sign that says ‘Happy Birthday Tony!’ he can’t help but smile and admit that, for the most part, he’s glad to have his ticking time bomb of a family.