Monday - Pop culture

[darling-lisa.livejournal.com]

*waves*

Hi! I'm Lisa (raggedy_edge) and I'm going to be your guest host for this week. I hope we have some fun. :)

To start things off, I thought we might play around with pop culture. Its a pretty wide sandbox to play in, so I thought it would be the perfect Monday theme to ease us into the week. Basically you are only limited by what has been released to the masses... movies, songs, books, television, celebrity catch phrases... its all fair game.

Please just make sure to be format your prompts correctly ie:

Fandom, Pairing, Prompt
Fandom1/Fandom2, Pairing, Prompt

An example of today's theme might be:

Leverage, Eliot/author's choice, "somebody has a case of the monday's" (Office Space)

Also, please remember to leave just one prompt per comment, and don't forget if you happen to think up a response to your own prompt, you are more than welcome to answer it.

Finally, if nothing strikes your fancy in today's theme, there are always the Lonely Prompt indexes waiting for your loving attention!

Ok, thats it for now, have fun!

Comments

[noxnoctisanima.livejournal.com]

Jonathan Creek, Jonathan/Author's Choice, Sherlock Holmes

[draco-somnians.livejournal.com]

SG1, Jack/Teal'c, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Operation: All Gone to Hell, Jack/Teal'c

[fairyglass.livejournal.com]

The operation had all gone to hell. He was separated from his team and he could here the imperious foot fall of his enemy not ten yards away.

Jack crouched down even further into the bush, sweat trickling down his spine from the heat of the noon-day sun. Licking his lips, he tried to ease the ache of his knees without actually giving his position away.

"Come out, O'Neill," the Jaffa's voice boomed. "You are surrounded."

He looked behind him and sure enough there was a defeated Daniel being led with his hands held up over his head. The victor looked particularly smug as she nudged him onward with her over-large weapon.

There was a noise in front of him and as he spun, weapon coming up, Jack looked down the garish barrel of Teal'c's super soaker.

"Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do you?" Teal'c's careful enunciation made the trademark line seem all the more sinister as he pulled back on the trigger and practically drowned Jack at point blank.

[draco-somnians.livejournal.com]

SG1, Jack/Sam, Singing In The Rain

Whistle While You Work, Sam/Jack

[fairyglass.livejournal.com]

O'Neill may have been known throughout the mountain for his Wizard of Oz allusions, but it was all of SG-1 who had to suffer through his other musical fetishes.

Sam recognized the iconic opening bars the moment he started to whistle. Daniel groaned, pulling his boonie down further against the rain and stepped his quick-march up. Teal'c simply arched an eyebrow, his pace steady.

Sam joined him before the beginning of the second bar, her tune a lighter one to the Colonel's tenor.

"Oh, don't *encourage* him," Daniel groaned, turning towards her and pleading with wide eyes.

But she just grinned, harmonizing to the man's melody as the walked towards the Stargate.

[noxnoctisanima.livejournal.com]

Primeval, Nick/Connor, The First Rule: You don't talk about Fight Club.

Aftermath

[guiltyreasons.livejournal.com]

Conner was panting. He'd never been with a man before, but Nick made it amazing. He couldn't feel his toes, but he knew they would be tingling.

"Nick that was..." Connor said than shut his mouth. He really had no idea where they stood. They had gone from crying to making love in twenty seconds flat. It felt so natural, but he was scared things would be different.

"It's alright Connor. I don't tell many people about my preference. Stephan and I used too..."

"Oh," Conner said feeling like a replacement suddenly.

"Wait, no, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I wanted you tonight Connor not him. I was with you, but," Nick said pausing and licking his lips, "I don't want this to get out."

"I see so...Do you not want to do it ever again then?" Connor asked disappointed.

"No, but there will be some rules. The first rule, we don't talk about Bed Time."

"Oh, oh is this like Fight Club. You know, The first rule: you don't talk about Fight Club? Is it the second rule too?" Connor asked suddenly all anxious and geeky the way that made Nick smile.

"Sure, that's a kind of true. Just our fight club has a lot less punching and more kissing..."

"I think I prefer this Fight Club. Woulda been hot if they made the movie like that too."

[draco-somnians.livejournal.com]

SGA, John/Rodney, 42

[guiltyreasons.livejournal.com]

"John! John! John!" Rodney yelled as he ran down the hallway seeing John in the distance.

"What?" Sheppard snapped and turned to look at him."What? What? What? See it's really annoying when people repeat things over and over and over again."

"Look at this," Rodney said pushing paper at him full of numbers that made no sense to him.

"What is it?" John asked feeling like a parent looking at a kindergartners picture. He didn't want to upset him, but he didn't understand it in the least.

"Remember that time when I got super smart, I mean ever smarter than I am now."

"How can I forget," John said rolling his eyes.

"I don't know what any of this means," he said circling his hand at the mass of numbers and letters that made no sense to John, "But look at what it equals."

John looked down at the number circled in red. "Fourty-Two? So what?"

"Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy? Answer to The Universe, Life and Everything? Douglas Adams? Ringing a bell at all?"

"Oh wait, you made me watch that horrible British movie about nothing with a lot of Brit jokes?" he asked half remembering it.

"Yes. Yes. That movie. The answer to life is forty-two, but they don't know the question and when I was super smart I got the same answer."

"So what does it mean? What's the ultimate question?"

Rodney shook his head. "I still have no idea."

[barefoot-starz.livejournal.com]

Primeval, Connor/Nick/Becker, Stormtroopers

[merihn.livejournal.com]

"You went as a Stormtrooper?" Becker raised an eyebrow. Connor blushed and nodded.

"Hmm, I kind of like that idea," Nick murmured, pressing himself against Connor's back, hooking his chin over the younger man's shoulder.

Becker grinned at Nick and stepped in close. "I didn't say I didn't like it."

"You guys are really weird, you know that?"

"Shut up, Connor," Becker said and tilted Connor's chin up with his fingers. He leaned in and kissed him slowly. "Dressing up could be fun." He grinned wickedly.

"I think I already like your costume." Nick reached around Connor and pulled Becker in closer, sandwiching Connor between them. He caught his fingers in Becker's tac vest, drawing him in even closer, until their mouths almost touched.

Becker grinned and closed the distance, and Connor let his head drop back onto Nick's shoulder as they kissed.

"If I'd known about this I'd have mentioned it ages ago."

♥

[barefoot-starz.livejournal.com]

Primeval/SGA, Becker/John, 'Operation This-Will-Most-Likely-End-Badly is a go.'

[noxnoctisanima.livejournal.com]

Becker checked the gun he had slung over his shoulder.

"So, aliens?"

John looked away from where the young scientist was happily shouting at Rodney from across a dead something or other.

"So, dinosaurs?"

"So, how are we getting our people back?"

John shrugged.

"I was thinking we'd go through that shiny thing that McKay's so interested in, and get them back. How does that sound?"

Becker raised an eyebrow at him.

"It sounds idiotic and suicidal and exactly like something you would do."

John grinned back at him and zipped up his tac vest.

"Operation This-Will-Most-Likely-End-Badly is a go then."

[samescenes.livejournal.com]

SPN/BtVS, Dean/Faith, the beginning of a beautiful friendship

[monica-catch22.livejournal.com]

"Fuck!" She groans and wraps her legs tighter around her impromptu lover's waist, shuddering as he slams her back into the wall at the same time his teeth nip over her collarbone. Her fingers tangle in the wet spikes of his hair from the sweat he worked up in the club and now out here.

He shifts his hips and twists just right, and she screams out into the darkness of the alley.

All she had wanted was to get some beers, maybe dance a few guys up and leave them wanting, but when his green eyes caught hers across the floor she knew her plans were ix-nayed and, well, that's five by five for her. She's never gotten wet this fast, from just some bump-n-grind on the dance floor, and now...

"C'mon, sweetheart," she hears him purr into her ear as his long does things that short-circuit her eyes. "Come for me."

At the same time he slides a hand between them, into her pants and runs his thumb over her clit, and it's over. Her heels sink hard into his back and her back arches as she lets everyone within a five-block radius know what this guy is doing to her body. Fire shoots through her veins, her head swims, and she explodes within.

By the time she returns back to Earth, he's panting and nuzzling at her neck; she'd usually find this irritating but hell, he's earned the right to do some form of snuggling.

"Dean," he murmurs against her skin, licking over a bite mark.

"Faith," she replies and ducks her head down to kiss at those perfect lips.

He chuckles against her mouth, flicks his tongue and makes her legs tremble. "Well, Faith, this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

[havenward.livejournal.com]

Leverage, Eliot/Parker/Hardison, Don't Panic (Hitchhikers' Guide)

[galor5.livejournal.com]

Lotrips, Orlando/Karl, 'Nobody puts baby in the corner' (Dirty Dancing)

Lotrips, Orlando/Karl, 'Nobody puts baby in the corner' (Dirty Dancing)

[giselleslash.livejournal.com]

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

Karl stopped mid-drink, the bottle held up to his lips as he looked at Orlando standing in front of him with his hand held out in invitation, and raised an eyebrow. He very calmly finished his drink and set the bottle down on the table.

"When has a crap line like that ever worked?" he asked curiously.

"Never, but I have a feeling it'll work its magic tonight."

"On who exactly?"

"On my Baby," Orlando waggled his eyebrows and winked at Karl.

"Surely you don't mean me. If you do I think we're going to have to call it quits. I'm not sure I can sleep with you ever again if you go around calling me Baby."

Orlando grabbed Karl's hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Pfft. You love me."

Karl let Orlando wrap his arms around him and maneuver them onto the dance floor.

"I wasn't even in the corner. Your logic is flawed," Karl said quietly, his hand moving into place at the small of Orlando's back.

Orlando kissed along the curve of Karl's jaw until his mouth was hovering near his ear.

"Never stopped me before."

Orlando's voice was gravelly and low in Karl's ear and he knew his own logic was flawed as well. He'd let Orlando call him just about anything, no matter how ridiculously embarrassing. It was the voice. It couldn't be helped.

Really.

"Fine," Karl tried to act resigned and annoyed both, "but don't let anyone hear you, alright?"

Orlando's low laugh came from that spot deep in the back of his throat that twisted Karl's insides up in the most aggravatingly wonderful way.

Karl closed his eyes, pushed his nose into Orlando's hair and hoped no one would be within hearing distance the next time he caved.

[samescenes.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Merlin/Arthur, "We are men of action, lies do not become us."

The Classic Action/Romance Movie Ending

[kick-flaw.livejournal.com]

To not reach out now, to not grab and grip and hold, is the greatest lie Merlin has ever told. He sways with the urge of it, hands in fists and eyes closed--to fly, race, stumble, crawl to Arthur, who is somehow unscathed, miraculously standing. Smoke still curls around his body, ghost hands trying to draw him down into death. He looks vaguely surprised and very singed: likely the explosion concussed him.

"Arthur!" Uther cries, somewhere to Merlin's right, in tones awed and fraught.

"Father," says Arthur, eyes passing over the King without a flicker of interest. He's searching, scanning, strange intense distance in his gaze, until it settles on Merlin and hardens diamond bright. "Merlin," he says. Merlin can't hear him, but he knows the shape of his name on Arthur's mouth.

Arthur drops his sword with a weighty clang, and runs to him, dodging the debris that was the Great Hall, almost tripping, graceless suddenly, despite years of physical training. He's in Merlin's arms before Merlin can take more than ten steps to meet him, and murmuring, "You, you, you..." into his hair.

Merlin opens his hands on Arthur's fire-hot back and lets himself be honest, finally, lets his actions be true. His mouth is on Arthur's sweaty, begrimed neck, and his body is pressing as close as close can be, until every heaving breath Arthur takes wracks his lungs as well.

It doesn't matter that the King and half the court, and more than half the Knights, and who knows how many of the townspeople can see them in the hollow destruction of the castle walls. Merlin won't lie anymore.

[galor5.livejournal.com]

RPS, Jake/Orlando, 'Who're you gonna call?' (GHOSTBUSTERS)

RPS, Jake/Orlando, 'Who're you gonna call?' (GHOSTBUSTERS)

[giselleslash.livejournal.com]

"Jake...Jake...Jake..."

Jake could hear Orlando, how could he not? his mouth was shoved into Jake's ear saying his name over and over again, but he couldn't quite grasp onto consciousness enough to fully wake up.

"JakeJakeJakeJaaaaake..."

"Mmmpf..."

"Jake!"

Really, must Orlando spit in his ear?

"Wha?"

"There's something in the closet. I can hear it. I think it's a ghost."

Jake groaned and tried to turn away from Orlando.

"Jake," Orlando hissed again.

"There's not a ghost in the closet. Go back to sleep."

"Says you. Get me the phone. It's on your side of the bed."

"Wha? Gonna call Ghostbusters?" Jake snorted at his own joke.

"Haha. Funny. No, I'm not going to call Ghostbusters. I need something to throw and the lamp's too awkward."

"You're planning on throwing our phone at a ghost? Aren't you, like, worried about the ghost's lack of...um...solidness?"

"Wasn't it you that just told me there wasn't a ghost in the closet?"

"So you're going to throw the phone at the burglar that's lurking in our closet?"

"I've got good aim. I'll knock him right between the eyes. Bam. Down for the count."

"Uh-huh," Jake said as he pressed his face into the pillow and tried to ignore Orlando.

"Oh my god - the door's opening."

Jake laughed at the slightly squeaky tone of Orlando's voice. He turned and looked toward the closet just in time to see their cat, Fuckit - named by Orlando - push her way out of the closet.

"Eh," Orlando said as he fell back against the bed and flopped to his side. "Nevermind. It's just Fuckit."

"Still need the phone?" Jake muttered.

"Fuck off."

"Just checking."

Jake chuckled into his pillow when Fuckit, thinking she heard her name, jumped up and proceeded to make herself comfortable on Orlando's head.

Served him right. Waking him up in the middle of the night and all.

[galor5.livejournal.com]

LOTRIPS, Viggo/Orlando, 'Go ahead, make my day'

In character, Viggo/Orlando, FRT

[windycitygirly.livejournal.com]

"Go ahead, make my day."

Viggo snickered as Orlando fashioned his index finger and thumb into a gun and threatened Viggo.

It was funny.

"Do you even know the lines properly?"

"What? Does it matter?"

"Immensely."

Viggo went back to reading his newspaper, with that black Sharpie in his right hand. He liked to do "black out poetry", as he called it. Something he saw another poet do, back in California.

Before he could even read the first word of the first article that caught his attention, the gun barrel that was Orlando's index finger crimpled the paper as it lowered onto the print material.

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful hangun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question; Do I feel lucky?"

Orlando slowly walked back, but his finger/gun still pointed at Viggo's head.

"Well, do ya, punk?"

"Well done." Viggo's eyes went back to the newspaper.

"Next time, do it without the accent."

[aossi.livejournal.com]

House MD, House/Cuddy, "I can see Russia from my house!"

[barush.livejournal.com]

"House, shut up and come back to bed."

"No, really, you have to see this!"

Cuddy groaned and flopped back into her pillow. It wasn't even six in the morning and she hoped that once, just once, she could actually sleep in on her day off. No such luck apparently.

"Cuddy, come on!" House whined. As annoying as his antics were, Cuddy had to admit that his naked ass looked pretty good in the pale light of the rising sun. When it became clear that House wouldn't suddenly become normal and behave as any other human being, she decided to humor him.

"What's so interesting out there, Dr. House?"

"I can see Russia from my house!" he exclaimed with childish glee.

Cuddy squeezed her eyes shut, picturing puppies and rainbows and lots of pink cotton balls, until the thought of a homicide left her mind.

"What are you talking about, House? This is my house," she replied with a frown. His name had never seemed as disturbing as in that moment.

"You're no fun today, Cuddykinks," House turned away from the window to pout at her.

Cuddy was a strong, emancipated, independent woman. In charge of a huge hospital, no less. Nobody could mess with her. But she knew she had no resistance against the slightly protruding lower lip and mischievous big blue eyes. And the firm naked ass. With a sigh she threw the covers off her own naked body and climbed out of the bed.

"You know we're actually not in Alaska, right?" she said as her feet connected with the cold floor. In that moment, they might as well have been. House just grinned at her and continued staring out the window.

She thought she was prepared for anything. The Red Square miraculously appearing in front of her house overnight. Russian troops marching on in the streets. A huge matryoshka doll glaring up at her. Or, the most likely option, nothing. But this, this she didn't expect.

"House, what - ?"

She found herself at a lack of words. Instead she looked back down into her garden at the snow white horse, happily munching on her flower garden.

"Happy birthday, Cuddy," House grinned and leaned down to kiss her.

"Oh and by the way, her name is Sarah."

[aossi.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Morgana/Gwen, "Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...but its better when we do."

[bekkis.livejournal.com]

Gwen holds Morgana steady as they walk through the castle back to her room. Morgana giggles, her arms flailing about as Gwen tries to pull her through the hallway.

"Morgana, shh! If Uther finds out..." Gwen glances down the hallway.

"Oh hush, Gwen. Like Uther cares what I get up to." Morgana stumbles a little and pulls Gwen with her into a nearby wall. Morgana starts giggling again, and Gwen places her hand over her mouth.

"Morgana, please." Gwen pleads, and Morgana takes a deep breath and nods. Gwen pulls her hand away and tightens her hold on Morgana's waist, pulling her down towards her room. Morgana keeps quiet until they get to her room. She stumbles inside and grabs the bedpost, giggling as she spins.

"You need to lighten up, Gwen." Morgana swings around to bump into Gwen as she passes by to get her nightgown. Gwen steadies her as she falls towards the ground, and helps her sit down on the edge of the bed. Gwen helps her out of her dress and Morgana grabs her arm before she can get to the nightgown she left on the nearby table.

"Morgana, please. I'm tired." Morgana pouts, and Gwen sighs before sitting down next to her.

"You know what's more fun than lying?" Morgana whispers into her ear, sliding her arm around Gwen's shoulders and pulling her close. Gwen freezes, feels Morgana's breast against her arm. "Taking my clothes off," and Morgana presses her mouth against Gwen's, cupping her jaw.

[merihn.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Merlin/Arthur/Lancelot, As you wish.

As you wish, Merlin, Merlin/Arthur/Lancelot - 1/2

[entropynchaos.livejournal.com]

Arthur lounges back in his chair. He's grinning, he knows it, but really. With Merlin on his knees in front of him, naked and with Arthur's own coat of arms engraved on the pendant hanging about his neck? Well, he's got a lot to grin about, hasn't he?

And he has a suprise for his lover - because sometimes Merlin can be so very good, folding down obediantely to his knees when Arthur gives him no more than a look, eyes flooding molten as he vanishes his clothes from his body while Arthur watches, that pleased little grin on his face when Arthur can't help but gasp his name...

There's a knock at the door - his visitor, Merlin's present - and Merlin looks up, a little of the dazed acceptance fading from his eyes as he struggles back to now and reality, but Arthur just runs a hand through Merlin's hair from forehead to the nape of the man's neck, and Merlin settles against his chair, gaze falling again as Arthur calls 'Enter'.

But, oh! How Merlin's breath quickens when he realises it's Lancelot who's entered and barred the door behind himself - Lancelot, who's now standing there more than a little gobsmacked, staring at Merlin kneeling at Arthur's feet, and Arthur's grin grows just a little more.

"Merlin," he says, drawling out the name just to feel Merlin shiver under his hand. "Why don't you go welcome our guest properly?"

Merlin swallows, pushes his head into Arthur's touch just briefly, and then nods.

"As you wish, Arthur," he says, voice low and rough with arousal, and he starts to get to his feet, Arthur's fingers taking the opportunity to slide over as much of that unbelievably white skin as possible in passing. He walks, quietly, smoothly, over to Lancelot and folds himself down to the floor again, reaching for Lancelot's belt buckle.

From his chair, Arthur watches, watches as Lancelot's shocked look fades to one of deep arousal, watches as Merlin frees Lancelot from his breeches and Lancelot rests too-careful hands on Merlin's head, not guiding him, and Arthur's going to have to speak to him about that because Merlin likes it a little rough, sometimes, and tonight is one of those nights.

It's obvious Lancelot won't push, though, so Arthur gets to his feet and walks over, reaching down a hand to pet and soothe Merlin when the younger man looks up automatically at his approach, so obviously thinking he's done something wrong.

Far from it.

Arthur pulls Lancelot towards him, demands and takes a kiss as is his due, and then urges Merlin to his feet with a light tugging on his hair, and Merlin comes up, standing next to them.

"Go turn down the bed and prepare yourself," Arthur tells him, and leans in to take that pink, full mouth in a kiss that's more demanding than the one he took from Lancelot, because Merlin will give Arthur everything - the moon and the sun and the stars and the whole of Albion, should Arthur desire it - and Arthur wants...

Cont. below

[myinkyfingers.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, "I reject your reality and substitute my own" (Mythbusters)

[samescenes.livejournal.com]

AWESOME PROMPT. MYTHBUSTERS WIN.

////

“Arthur,” Merlin says. “I’m a sorcerer.”

“Ha ha, Merlin. How droll. You’re the funniest manservant I’ve ever had,” Arthur says. Then he orders Merlin to clean all his tack, take his horse to the farrier and make sure the cook is roasting a duck for his dinner.

“No, really,” Merlin says weakly, but Arthur’s already walking away.

***

That night, Merlin sets a plate of mushroom stew down on Arthur’s table, and forces all the windows open without moving a muscle.

“I thought I asked for duck,” Arthur says. “And is there a breeze in here?”

***

Merlin sits Arthur down on his bed, hands gripping his shoulders. He takes a breath.

“Look, Arthur. I need you to listen, I have something to tell –”

“I know,” Arthur says. “It’s alright.”

“It is?” Merlin says.

“You can’t help being hopelessly in love with me.” And then Arthur kisses him, biting at Merlin’s lips until he groans, and he can’t help but lean into Arthur’s body, pushing them down onto Arthur’s ridiculously large bed.

Yeah, Merlin thinks, sliding his cock in where he's stretched Arthur wide open. I’ll pay that.

***

The nymph reaches for Arthur with clumsy fingers, her joints looking like old, mottled tree knots.

Merlin's eyes glow gold, and Arthur's sword begins to shine like iron fresh from a blacksmith's forge.

The nymph shrieks, hesitating, and that's all Arthur need to bring the sword down across her torso. It cuts through her easy, and she gurgles, thick sap spilling from her chest. She collapses, and by the time she hits the ground, she's just dry, dead wood.

"Did you see that?" Arthur says, turning to Merlin.

Arthur points a finger at his own chest. "It's because I'm awesome."

[myinkyfingers.livejournal.com]

SPN, Sam/Dean, "This town needs an enima" (Batman)

[morgan-cian.livejournal.com]

"I'll be glad to put this job behind us." Sam shuddered.

Dean looked around. Even with the curse broken, the spirits leaving the children, it was still dank, dark, and gray.

No one smiled. It was like they had forgotten to live.

"This town needs an enima."

Sam snorted. Dean elbowed him in the gut. "What?"

"Seriously? Batman?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Shut up, geek boy, and get in the car. I want to be as far away from here as we can by nightfall."

The Impala roared out of town.

[darling-lisa.livejournal.com]

Leverage, Eliot/author's choice, "somebody has a case of the monday's" (Office Space)

[bekkis.livejournal.com]

Eliot stares down into his coffee, wishing he was back in bed instead of here. He sighs and takes a long drink of coffee.

He's pretty sure it's just plain mean that Nate made him come into today, especially considering how late he was out the night before, cleaning up the mess leftover from their last job. Hardison's passed out on the table, snoring softly and Eliot curses the fact that Hardison can fall asleep anywhere.

Bastard.

"Good morning, boys!" Parker chirps, pulling a chair close to his, her voice annoyingly loud. Hardison barely moves, just snores a little louder, and he doesn't miss the look Parker shoots him.

"Mmmhm." Eliot mumbles and takes another sip of coffee. Parker glances at Hardison before giving him a grin and slides her hands up his thigh. "Hey!" She pouts and pulls her hand back.

"Sorry, just tryin' to cheer you up a little." She crosses her arms against her chest.

"It's just a little early for that, don't you think?" Eliot says into his coffee, shifting awkwardly in his seat.

"Pfft." Parker rolls her eyes. "Somebody has a case of the Mondays."

I couldn't help it...

[aossi.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Merlin/Arthur, ANY MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL SKIT/QUOTE. Bonus points if its NOT the Bunny skit.

I got a little carried away... I am so sorry!

[mariana-oconnor.livejournal.com]

It was just a village near the border of Uther’s Kingdom, but Merlin was getting worried that he and Arthur had stumbled off the map in more ways than one. When they arrived two men with large sticks stepped forwards.

“Who are you then?” one of them asked belligerently.

“I’m Prince Arthur Pendragon, son of King Uther.”

“Who’s he then?”

“King of Camelot.”

“Never heard of him.”

“He’s your King…” Arthur said, drawing himself up to his full height and looking as imperious as possible. He tried to ignore Merlin’s sniggering behind him. “I am here to…”

“We don’t have a King,” the second man interrupted. “We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.”

“We have elected to leave the imperialistic dictatorship based on the tyranny of a self- perpetuating aristocracy who live off the labour of the working classes, who break their backs…”

“Look man,” Arthur snapped, his hand reaching for his sword.

“Woman,” the second woman corrected. Arthur and Merlin blinked and looked at her again, squinting to see past the blur of mud.

“Sorry,” the Prince said, a little awkwardly, “I am in the process of…”

“I should think you are sorry… you just come along here with your fancy sword and act as though you’re so superior.”

“I am a Prince,”

“Meaningless title based on a belief in a hereditary transferral of power…” The woman said with a sniff, the man beside her nodded in agreement. “That comes basically from an argument over who has the bigger sword. And that’s no basis for a system of government. Who voted for you, eh? I know I didn’t.”

“No one voted for me…”

“Then why should we listen to you? I refuse to acknowledge an authority I didn’t vote for!” Merlin could see the exact moment when Arthur’s temper snapped and he lunged forward to capture the man by his tunic, dragging him forwards and off his feet.

“Ah…” the man said, “now we see the violence inherent in the system!”

*

The next village was even worse. They seemed to have walked into one of the weirdest trials Merlin had ever seen.

When they first stepped into the scattering of huts and houses that made up the village they bumped into a man carrying a duck. Arthur had asked where everyone was, with his customary arrogance, and had been told that they had found a witch. Needless to say the pair of them had rushed onwards, only to see, when they had pushed through the crowds, a young woman standing in the centre of the villagers, a parsnip held onto her nose with string and a hat perched on her head. It was a very witchy looking hat.

“What… ?” Arthur began, and the crowd was more than happy to oblige.

“She’s a witch…”

“Witches burn.”

“So does wood.”

“So witches are made of wood.”

“And wood floats on water.”

“So do ducks.”

“So if she weighs the same as a duck then she’s a witch.”

“And we can burn her!” The last line was said with glee by the entire assembly, and Arthur paled slightly. Merlin looked frantically for a way out. If he was careful, he might be able to free all three of them without revealing his magic.

But to his surprise, the people led the woman over to what appeared to be a giant version of the tiny weighing scales that Gaius used to measure out herbs for his medicines. They pushed her in one side and shoved the duck in the other, then pulled back the supports and the whole village watched with bated breath as the contraption seesawed one way and another until it came to rest, exactly level.

The woman shrugged, as the crowd yelled with delight. A couple of children hurried off to make the pyre, skipping with seeming joy. Merlin felt sick to his stomach.

Arthur pushed his way through the people until he was standing by the woman. Seeing his sword and his stance, the crowd ground to a halt.

“You call that evidence? What has this woman done? How did she use magic?” There was silence. “Just because she weighs the same as a duck?” The woman looked at him in confusion.

“It’s only logical,” she said with another shrug. “tough luck though.”

“You want to be burnt?” Merlin asked, stepping forwards. She didn’t even blinked.

“Can’t argue with the law.”

The crowd hurried her onwards and Arthur and Merlin were left staring at their retreating backs.

“Don’t even think of saying anything Merlin,” the Prince warned.

[myinkyfingers.livejournal.com]

SGA, John/Rodney, Sesame Street

Gay Puppets.

[guiltyreasons.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe they let Bert and Ernie get away with it," Rodney said flipping through the Sesame Street book he'd gotten for Teyla's baby's first birthday. Sure it was a little soon, but this one made noises. Kids like noise right?

"Get away with what?" John asked carrying his own, much more reasonable gift, of a stuffed air plane.

"Oh come on. They have been living together forever. They are obviously lovers. I mean look at them! They even share a room," Rodney said opening the page with the characters in question on it.

"So? I think it's great that they give kids the opportunity to sub-consciously get used to the idea of a gay couple being a normal thing," Sheppard said.

"But look, here they get a kitten and fight about it. It's a comment on homosexual adoption!"

"What you don't think a gay couple can raise a kid?" John asked stopping in his tracks and staring at his lover.

"No, no it's not that. I just...I don't know. I figured most guys won't want to. It's normally the woman whose all into the kids..."

"I've always wanted children."

"Well, I'm not having them," Rodney said sharply.

"You will if we find the right bit of Ancient Tech," John said and before Rodney could reply he rang Teyla's doorbell.

[merihn.livejournal.com]

Merlin, Merlin/Arthur, "This is true love - you think this happens every day?"

'This is true love...', Merlin, Merlin/Arthur

[entropynchaos.livejournal.com]

It's happened so often that it might almost be boring. You know, if it wasn't for the impending death thing.

One (1) monster/sorcerer/mythological creature/invading army threatening Camelot/the King/Arthur (delete as applicable).

One (1) (and one only) way to defeat said threat - magic.

One (1) person able to use strong enough magic to defeat said threat - enter Merlin, stage left.

And Arthur rolls his eyes, because it's a threat, yes. A terrible, horrifying threat that could level Camelot to the ground, but a common task that he faces on a near weekly basis nowadays. (And, really. It's not like he hadn't noticed that the amount of threats towards Camelot/the King/himself had drastically increased since a certain someone had arrived in the city, even before he knew of a certain someone's magic.)

And he picks up his sword, because there's really hardly anything that a good whack with a sharp blade can't fix, except the griffin. And the whole unicorn/Anhora debacle. And being coerced into eloping with a visiting noble woman, although he'd made Merlin reveal the real story behind that one and. Huh.

And he turns and presses a kiss to Merlin's slightly open and protesting mouth, firmly stopping the flow of gibberish and he's pulling away, already mentally preparing to face the threat-of-the-week, when Merlin pulls him back.

"You're not going," Merlin says, and he has that look on his face that reminds Arthur of all the times he's blacked out, somehow, and woken up the next morning in his comfortable bed with the threat eliminated.

"Am too," Arthur retorts, and he wonders when he regressed to being a five-year-old child again. It happens a lot around Merlin. And Morgana. "And you are not coming with me. Understand?"

Merlin just looks at him as if Arthur's been relieved of his mental faculties. It's a fairly common look on Merlin, and Arthur wonders whether he should be doing something about that.

"This?" Merlin says, reaching for Arthur and drawing him close. "This is true love, you know."

And something in Arthur's chest swells proudly and warmly, and he suspects he has a rather silly grin on his face, despite impending injury/death/doom.

"Oh, really?"

Merlin nods, and leans in to whisper in Arthur's ear.

"You think this happens every day?"

It's the last thing Arthur hears before everything starts to go dark again and...really, Merlin. A little subtlety wouldn't go amiss.

The last thing Arthur thinks, though, is that he'll probably wake up later still with the stupid, proud, pleased grin.

It's not really a bad thought to have.

[myinkyfingers.livejournal.com]

NCIS, Jethro/Tony, "You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?" (West Wing)

[havenward.livejournal.com]

SPN, Dean/author's choice, Rock of Love

What? I didn't just watch the finale last night on VH1. That'd be silly... those women are train wrecks.....

Evils of VH1

[sandersyager.livejournal.com]

you aren't the only one who likes a good trainwreck or two. sorry there's no porn:(

***
"Dude, Bret Michaels? Clearly possessed," Dean says, gesturing at the TV with his beer bottle. "Getting rid of a girl like that. Now, Mindy, I could understand, just whining like---but Beverly? C'mon."

Sam looks up from his computer, rolls his eyes and goes back to reading. "You saying you'd turn her down? Must be a first."

"I didn't say that, Sammy. A guy has needs and she's not bad to look at, but Bev's my kinda girl," Dean says. "Looks like she could get down and dirty, and then, y'know, get down and dirty."

"Kinda looks like Ruby," Sam says, eyes flicking over to the TV. He can hear Dean's growl from across the room and he ducks the pillow flying at his head expertly.

"Don't say shit like that, man. Beverly's a respectable girl. Ruby's... Ruby," Dean says. He turns the TV off with a jab of the remote and stands up, stretching. "Poison kinda sucked anyway. All spandex and no talent."

"So that wasn't you humming Every Rose Has Its Thorn yesterday?" Sam grins, deliberately not looking at the way Dean's shirt rides up with his arms over his head.

"Okay, first of all, a band can suck and still have a few decent songs," Dean says. "Deals with the devil and all that. Second, we were in a greenhouse and it was funny."

"Until that bush attacked you." Sam gets to his feet, doing his own little stretch and Dean does watch. He even licks his lower lip, and Sam takes a step toward him.

"Who grows evil roses? Now, poppies, sure, but roses?" Dean looks like he's about to start a world-class rant, another one, and Sam shakes his head, draping his arms over Dean's shoulders.

"Will you let it go if I promise to show you someone else willing to get down and dirty for you?" Sam asks, smile only slightly mocking when he echoes Dean's words.

"Depends on what you're offering," Dean says, his smirk surpassing any expression Sam could form.

"Anything you want," Sam says. "Anything."

Dean grins, lowering his eyes and looking up at Sam through his lashes. "There's an I Love Money marathon coming on in half an hour," he says. "And you're watching it with me."

***

[spae.livejournal.com]

Labyrinth, Jareth/Toby, "Men in masks cannot be trusted"

'Men in masks...', Labyrinth, Jareth/Toby

[entropynchaos.livejournal.com]

He knows this man - Sarah used to tell stories when she babysat and Toby was still young enough to need a bedtime story. Funny, though; he doesn't remember her telling him that the pants were quite so...tight. Then again, maybe she did and he was just too young to notice.

He's definitely not too young to notice now, and his gaze tracks up those long legs clad in leather boots and those tight, tight pants, stuttering to a halt at a certain bulge before being forced on and. Wow. Okay, the top half is just as stunning as the bottom.

"Jareth," he says, backing away slowly and carefully, but the way the man (goblin?) is watching him reminds Toby of a show he saw on the Discovery Channel about owls and the way they watch their prey before they strike.

Jareth is wearing a mask over the top half of his face - wild hair spilling down around it and thin lips twisted into a cruel smirk underneath. Toby remembers that smirk - although it was more bemused the last time he saw it...and how does he know that? He was just a baby, then, and Jareth so utterly incapable of looking after such a small child - even temporarily - that Toby had been handed into the care of the goblins for the duration his stay.

(Even years later he still had a habit of literally climbing the walls. It had driven Sarah to distraction at times.)

Jareth moves forward towards him, and Toby keeps backing away until he hits the wall, and Jareth follows, crowding up against him, and oh! Toby's longed for this - wanted it without even knowing what it was he wanted.

This is completely, utterly stupid - Sarah always told him that men in masks couldn't be trusted, and apparently she hadn't just been refering to people in ski masks holding up the gas station - but Toby leans into the touch when Jareth reaches to cup his cheek. Even nuzzles into the hand slightly before he can stop himself, and then he opens under Jareth's mouth, taking the kiss willingly, whimpering when Jareth pulls back just a couple of inches to look at him.

"You..." he starts, but Jareth rocks against him and...and...yeah. Okay.