Sheldon put the phone down again and began to pace the strip of carpet in front of the couch. Even his spot didn’t look appealing at the moment.
“Sheldon, would you sit down?” Leonard said, as he took another slice of cheeseless pizza and settled back into the couch, his legs tucked under so Sheldon wouldn’t step on his toes. “You’re making me dizzy just watching you.”
“Leonard, I’m sorry for your weak stomach and juvenile constitution, but I’m feeling anxious over my girlfriend here, so have a little sympathy.”
“I’m sure Amy’s fine. Sit down and eat,” Leonard said around the slice of pizza in his mouth.
“Fine?" Sheldon stopped pacing and faced his roommate. “How is Amy fine? She’s late for pizza night and she hasn’t returned my calls. What if she was carjacked? Or joined a gang? Would she be fine then?”
“Sheldon, Amy hasn’t joined a gang,” Leonard, finished with his slice, left the crust on his plate and rubbed his forehead, “or been carjacked.”
“How do you know? Do you know the statistics…?” Sheldon began, but his iPhone dinged in his pocket. He took it out and finally sat down once he saw Amy’s face on his screen. “Amy? Where have you been? Have you joined the Crips or the Bloods?”
“Sheldon quit blathering on. I’m in a crisis situation here!” Amy pointed behind her.
“You must be if you forgot pizza night.” Sheldon could see she was in the Rhesus monkey lab, “Is that Ricky I see? How’s the emphysema coming along?”
“Splendidly,” Amy replied, “which is my problem. I felt bad for putting him on oxygen, so I thought I’d give him one night to remember a few weeks ago, before I dissect his brain.”
“A night to remember? He’s a primate whose number is up, about to kick the bucket, to bite the dust, to shed this mortal coil…”
“Sheldon, would you quit it with the colloquiums for death? My problem is I let him in the cage with Babette, and now…”
“Now?”
“Babette is pregnant! With child, knocked up, a bun in the oven, up the duff…”
“Okay, I get the idea without the colloquialisms.”
“The problem is, Babette wasn’t my research Rhesus monkey, and now I’m in trouble because she was scheduled for dissection next week for Dr. Adler’s research on the effect of horny primates and now she has to wait.”
Sheldon shook his head, “Well Amy, I don’t know exactly how to help, except to offer Dr. Adler Leonard’s brain to scan.”
Leonard, still sitting on the couch picking on another piece of cheeseless pizza looked up sharply at Sheldon. He thinks he might have just been insulted. Dr. Adler was hot, though.
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Filled: TBBT, Love & Primates
Date: 2012-02-12 04:38 am (UTC)“Sheldon, would you sit down?” Leonard said, as he took another slice of cheeseless pizza and settled back into the couch, his legs tucked under so Sheldon wouldn’t step on his toes. “You’re making me dizzy just watching you.”
“Leonard, I’m sorry for your weak stomach and juvenile constitution, but I’m feeling anxious over my girlfriend here, so have a little sympathy.”
“I’m sure Amy’s fine. Sit down and eat,” Leonard said around the slice of pizza in his mouth.
“Fine?" Sheldon stopped pacing and faced his roommate. “How is Amy fine? She’s late for pizza night and she hasn’t returned my calls. What if she was carjacked? Or joined a gang? Would she be fine then?”
“Sheldon, Amy hasn’t joined a gang,” Leonard, finished with his slice, left the crust on his plate and rubbed his forehead, “or been carjacked.”
“How do you know? Do you know the statistics…?” Sheldon began, but his iPhone dinged in his pocket. He took it out and finally sat down once he saw Amy’s face on his screen. “Amy? Where have you been? Have you joined the Crips or the Bloods?”
“Sheldon quit blathering on. I’m in a crisis situation here!” Amy pointed behind her.
“You must be if you forgot pizza night.” Sheldon could see she was in the Rhesus monkey lab, “Is that Ricky I see? How’s the emphysema coming along?”
“Splendidly,” Amy replied, “which is my problem. I felt bad for putting him on oxygen, so I thought I’d give him one night to remember a few weeks ago, before I dissect his brain.”
“A night to remember? He’s a primate whose number is up, about to kick the bucket, to bite the dust, to shed this mortal coil…”
“Sheldon, would you quit it with the colloquiums for death? My problem is I let him in the cage with Babette, and now…”
“Now?”
“Babette is pregnant! With child, knocked up, a bun in the oven, up the duff…”
“Okay, I get the idea without the colloquialisms.”
“The problem is, Babette wasn’t my research Rhesus monkey, and now I’m in trouble because she was scheduled for dissection next week for Dr. Adler’s research on the effect of horny primates and now she has to wait.”
Sheldon shook his head, “Well Amy, I don’t know exactly how to help, except to offer Dr. Adler Leonard’s brain to scan.”
Leonard, still sitting on the couch picking on another piece of cheeseless pizza looked up sharply at Sheldon. He thinks he might have just been insulted. Dr. Adler was hot, though.
End.