Cinna is dead and survivors guilt isn’t just an empty set of words on the chalkboard anymore. It’s not just something her mother says sadly as she comforts those lucky enough to escape the mine collapse. Now she knows it wasn’t luck and those aren’t just words detonating in her heart and pushing up to fill her throat with poison.
There aren’t enough tears to cry. Because Cinna will never hold her again, she’ll never hear his voice from the phone cradled in her pillow whispering of better tomorrows.
Because he’s dead.
Katniss’s hands are raw and bleeding when she scrabbles to open to the door to a supply closet. She doesn’t remember how that happened but her knuckles are busted red and her nails are stained. They’ll definitely think she’s crazy now, but Katniss can’t think about that as she pushes behind a mop and covers herself with spare bed sheets.
Because Capitol’s done it. She’s broken into jagged pieces and they’ve seared the edges so she’ll never fit back together again.
It turns out she was a bad bet after all. She laughs, hollow and awful, because there aren’t enough tears to cry.
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filled. survivor's guilt
Date: 2012-03-30 10:40 pm (UTC)Cinna is dead and survivors guilt isn’t just an empty set of words on the chalkboard anymore. It’s not just something her mother says sadly as she comforts those lucky enough to escape the mine collapse. Now she knows it wasn’t luck and those aren’t just words detonating in her heart and pushing up to fill her throat with poison.
There aren’t enough tears to cry. Because Cinna will never hold her again, she’ll never hear his voice from the phone cradled in her pillow whispering of better tomorrows.
Because he’s dead.
Katniss’s hands are raw and bleeding when she scrabbles to open to the door to a supply closet. She doesn’t remember how that happened but her knuckles are busted red and her nails are stained. They’ll definitely think she’s crazy now, but Katniss can’t think about that as she pushes behind a mop and covers herself with spare bed sheets.
Because Capitol’s done it. She’s broken into jagged pieces and they’ve seared the edges so she’ll never fit back together again.
It turns out she was a bad bet after all. She laughs, hollow and awful, because there aren’t enough tears to cry.