Fill: Cold Comfort - Glee, Kurt/Blaine, PG SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 FINALE
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 FINALE * * * * * He'll be the first to admit that he's, maybe, developed a sort of tunnel vision when it comes to Kurt's leaving for New York.
Even after all of the talking about it that they've done, the future scares Blaine. He feels like he has to keep his eyes facing forward... his head up, his most optimistic state of mind fixed firmly in place or he's just going to fall to pieces. So it's probably not a surprise that, when Kurt calls him that evening, asking in a frighteningly inflectionless tone of voice if Blaine can come and talk to him, Blaine's mind automatically jumps to one thing.
"Al-alright. Are you at home? I'll-"
"I'm not at home, Blaine. I'm still at school. Meet me here." Kurt speaks with no discernible emotion and hangs up before Blaine can say another thing.
Blaine thinks his heart is going to stop.
He feels incredibly, unforgivably selfish later - after the news is out. He feels foolish and childish... But really? What was Blaine supposed to think? Kurt said all of the right things the last time they talked about continuing their relationship after high school. But what if he'd only said those things to keep Blaine calm during their last days together? What if holding his NYADA acceptance letter in his hand was that last little push towards the reality of their situation that Kurt needed to realize he doesn't want to move halfway across the country, into an entirely different - a new and exciting - life, shackled to the smalltown boyfriend who's been all but clinging to ankles for months now...
Blaine found Kurt's Navigator parked in the McKinley High parking lot, just as he'd been told. He approached it with his pulse pounding in his ears, feeling almost lightheaded with dread.
He opened the passenger door and climbed inside... 'Please don't tell me you've changed your mind... Pleasedon'ttellmeyou'vechangedyourmind...' his brain kept chanting, on repeat.
Kurt was turned away from him, but as Blaine's door snicked shut and Blaine opened his mouth to beg, Kurt shifted to face him.
Kurt's tear-streaked face stole Blaine's breath, not to mention his words.
"They don't want me," he says.
And it's not just that Blaine had been expecting the words 'I don't want you' that he doesn't immediately know what to say.
It's honestly never occurred to Blaine that NYADA might turn Kurt down... How could NYADA turn Kurt down? Kurt's audition was flawless. Kurt is everything NYADA could possibly be looking for.
"Blaine, they don't want me!" Kurt says again, voice high-pitched and wrecked and then he's throwing himself into Blaine's arms, basically.
Blaine can only catch him. Hold him. Stroke his hair and rub his back and let words of comfort fall from his lips on instinct.
"Oh, Kurt... Shh. Kurt, please. It's going to be alright, baby. Oh, Kurt, it's going to be alright..."
Blaine can't know that. He can't know anything if he didn't know that Kurt was bound for New York come the Fall, and NYADA was bound to welcome Kurt in with open arms.
But what else can he say? Blaine has daydreamed, countless times, of not having to say goodbye to Kurt after Kurt's graduation, but never once at the price of Kurt's dreams, even in Blaine's most shameless fantasies. Blaine would rather sever ties with Kurt himself, at the loss of every personal happiness, than see the boy that he loves devastated this way...
Unfortunately, Blaine can't do that or anything else to help that boy now. He can't do anything but what he's been doing all of this time.
Blaine clings to Kurt.
In the wake of such terrible news, Blaine finds little comfort in the fact that Kurt clings right back.
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Fill: Cold Comfort - Glee, Kurt/Blaine, PG, SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 FINALE
Date: 2012-05-23 08:45 pm (UTC)SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 FINALE
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He'll be the first to admit that he's, maybe, developed a sort of tunnel vision when it comes to Kurt's leaving for New York.
Even after all of the talking about it that they've done, the future scares Blaine. He feels like he has to keep his eyes facing forward... his head up, his most optimistic state of mind fixed firmly in place or he's just going to fall to pieces. So it's probably not a surprise that, when Kurt calls him that evening, asking in a frighteningly inflectionless tone of voice if Blaine can come and talk to him, Blaine's mind automatically jumps to one thing.
"Al-alright. Are you at home? I'll-"
"I'm not at home, Blaine. I'm still at school. Meet me here." Kurt speaks with no discernible emotion and hangs up before Blaine can say another thing.
Blaine thinks his heart is going to stop.
He feels incredibly, unforgivably selfish later - after the news is out. He feels foolish and childish... But really? What was Blaine supposed to think? Kurt said all of the right things the last time they talked about continuing their relationship after high school. But what if he'd only said those things to keep Blaine calm during their last days together? What if holding his NYADA acceptance letter in his hand was that last little push towards the reality of their situation that Kurt needed to realize he doesn't want to move halfway across the country, into an entirely different - a new and exciting - life, shackled to the smalltown boyfriend who's been all but clinging to ankles for months now...
Blaine found Kurt's Navigator parked in the McKinley High parking lot, just as he'd been told. He approached it with his pulse pounding in his ears, feeling almost lightheaded with dread.
He opened the passenger door and climbed inside... 'Please don't tell me you've changed your mind... Pleasedon'ttellmeyou'vechangedyourmind...' his brain kept chanting, on repeat.
Kurt was turned away from him, but as Blaine's door snicked shut and Blaine opened his mouth to beg, Kurt shifted to face him.
Kurt's tear-streaked face stole Blaine's breath, not to mention his words.
"They don't want me," he says.
And it's not just that Blaine had been expecting the words 'I don't want you' that he doesn't immediately know what to say.
It's honestly never occurred to Blaine that NYADA might turn Kurt down... How could NYADA turn Kurt down? Kurt's audition was flawless. Kurt is everything NYADA could possibly be looking for.
"Blaine, they don't want me!" Kurt says again, voice high-pitched and wrecked and then he's throwing himself into Blaine's arms, basically.
Blaine can only catch him. Hold him. Stroke his hair and rub his back and let words of comfort fall from his lips on instinct.
"Oh, Kurt... Shh. Kurt, please. It's going to be alright, baby. Oh, Kurt, it's going to be alright..."
Blaine can't know that. He can't know anything if he didn't know that Kurt was bound for New York come the Fall, and NYADA was bound to welcome Kurt in with open arms.
But what else can he say? Blaine has daydreamed, countless times, of not having to say goodbye to Kurt after Kurt's graduation, but never once at the price of Kurt's dreams, even in Blaine's most shameless fantasies. Blaine would rather sever ties with Kurt himself, at the loss of every personal happiness, than see the boy that he loves devastated this way...
Unfortunately, Blaine can't do that or anything else to help that boy now. He can't do anything but what he's been doing all of this time.
Blaine clings to Kurt.
In the wake of such terrible news, Blaine finds little comfort in the fact that Kurt clings right back.