Bite Sized Bits of Fic

This will definitely be rewritten for the other project because I didn't even get to the classic rock thing really. Sigh.
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The first time Castiel encountered ground meat after their run-in with famine, he flitted away instantly. The second time, Sam and Dean had just stopped at a Sonic for burgers, fried mac and cheese, and some sort of lettuce wrapped chicken thing. Castiel didn’t flit away instantly, but Dean could tell he wanted to. He looked nauseous. Castiel never looked nauseous.

“Buddy, what’s going on back there?” Dean asked.

“I can’t, the smell. The music. I think my vessel is turning inside out again.”

“Is this like a burger hangover or something?” Sam said.

Castiel tried to shake his head, or nod, it was heard to tell, he was pretty out of it. “I have to go,” he said, then flew off.

“Weird,” Dean said.

Sam picked some croutons out of his wrap. “You should be nicer. He’s trying to put up with you.”

Dean just scoffed and took a bigger bite of burger. Another motel, another night. Dean called Castiel and he reluctantly returned. “You feeling better?”

“I am,” Castiel said. He smiled, put on a brave face.

Dean put a hand on Castiel’s forehead, no temperature. The he thought of a way to make Castiel feel much better and let his hand move down to draw Castiel in for a kiss. That worked for a few seconds before Castiel drew away.

"You smell like hamburgers."

"Most people would just go with 'you smell nice.'"

"You smell like hamburgers--you don't smell nice."

Dean was not too put off as he never had much interest in smelling nice anyway. Instead, he was concerned with working his way farther into Castiel's personal space, but Castiel backed away as he got closer.

"I need to go, Dean."

He at least looked miserable about it, but then took off.

Dean wasn't sure what to do. He had a serious problem. He enjoyed cheeseburgers. Sure, he enjoyed other foods, too. He ate his share of club sandwiches and pork chops and blue plate specials, but he really loved cheeseburgers. The juiciness of the meat, the crispness of the lettuce, the ooze of the cheese. And if he was really feeling it, if he was having a really good day, the smokiness of the extra bacon. Best $1.50 he would ever spend.

But his love of cheeseburgers was interfering with his love of sex. If Castiel caught a whiff of beef on him, Castiel was pretty much done for the night. Dead cow smell was his angelic kryptonite. And sadly, the only person Dean had to confide in about his dwindling sex life was Sam.

"You could eat more salads," Sam said. It was a compromise of sorts. The diner before, Sam had suggested vegetarianism. Dean had taken off in the Impala without him for such a transgression. He made it half a mile before Sam was effusively apologizing on the phone and offering to pick up the tab on the next steak night.

"They put a lot of bacon on dinner salads these days," Sam added.

"I figured what with the way you're always asking for grilled chicken instead. Getting the dressing on the side. Do you have a secret angel girlfriend you're not telling me about?"

Sam didn't answer which either meant he thought Dean was an idiot or holy shit, he had a secret angel girlfriend.

"What's her name?"

"Dean, there's no secret angel girlfriend."

"Boyfriend?"

"Dean. Can we go back to talking about your sex life?"

"Holy shit! There's a secret angel boyfriend!"

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Dean was so giddy he swapped plates with Sam and immediately dove into his newly acquired wilted lettuce. He figured since it wasn't really food, he could talk with lettuce in his mouth. "I can't let you and your secret angel boyfriend have sex again until I find out more about him. Eat up," Dean said, motioning with his fork at the half eaten cheeseburger and fries.

Sam was not happy. Dean loved it.

"You realize the burger thing is an only Cas thing, right? It's not like we can keep Michael out of you and Zachariah away from you on a burger-only diet."

Dean shrugged, but kept eating his salad. Or Sam's salad because there wasn't any bacon it, the way Dean was obviously going to order all of his future salads.

"That would be amazing, though. Truly divine, actually."

Sam smirked at him. "Would it? You'd never have sex with Cas again. But you also wouldn't be Michael's meatsuit."

It dawned on him and Dean was horrified. He had to remind himself that it was simply a thought experiment dreamed up by his demonic brother, not really a choice he was going to have to make. "If that was the only way to save the world, they would have to rename Sophie's Choice after me."

"Dean, that was about a mother deciding which of her children would live. This is you deciding between sex and burgers."

"It's a hard fucking choice, man!"

Sam rolled his eyes and made an affectionately condescending face that Dean felt only older brothers should be able to use.

“You’ve already made it, Dean.”

Dean was too busy chewing on a tomato to answer. He made a “huh?” face. He also decided to like tomatoes. They reminded him of burgers, they could make the transition easier.

“You’re willingly eating a salad, dumbass.”

“Oh,” Dean said. He looked at the salad for answers. Why am I eating you? his eyes asked it. It responded in its fresh scent. Sex, it said. “Sex it is.”

When Dean called Castiel that night from his motel room, he used a new bit of dirty talk he had thought of while driving. “If your wings are lettuce, let me be your—wait that wasn’t it. Shit.”

“Dean?”

“It wasn’t that good anyway. Look, I haven’t had red meat in, like, two days. I’m clean.”

Castiel landed in the room, already taking off his trench coat. “I’ll try to understand your taste in music better,” he said.

Dean shrugged the suggestion off along with his shirt. “Cas, it wouldn’t be love if there weren’t sacrifices.”

Castiel smiled. “You make me happier than those terrible burgers, Dean.”

(Then they had sex.)

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Bahahahaha. True love!

I especially love your dialogue - they sound so much like *them* (she says, insightfully). Awesome.

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I'm glad you accept their gay, blasphemous, interspecies love for the simplicity it is--choosing sex/togetherness over burgers/apartness :)

And thank you so much for the dialog comment. I know I lapse into intermittent OOCness, so I'm so happy to at least be doing the dialog right! And thank you for tracking this and commenting. You're awesome [insert appropriate Dean gif here]

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They are truly an inspiration to us all.

YOU'RE awesome. Is this really part of a larger piece?

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It is! I wanted to put all of my comment_ficcing to good use. I'm hopeful it will be done by next weekend. It'll have some new stuff and some slightly rewritten things from here.

(I will expect you to comment on it then, too, because I am a comment whore and don't care that you've read)

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Should I have an eye on the deancastiel comm, or...?

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Deancastiel for sure. :D

I had meant to sound more charmingly demanding before, too, so apologies for just being demanding!

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Not at all, I got ya.

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AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH YOU WROTE MORE ILU ILU ILUUUUUUUU

Unfortunately I have, like, zero time to read right now, but I swear on Dean & Castiel's gay, blasphemous, interspecies love that I'll be back later tonight & do more squeeing all over the damn place.

For now, I give to you very big *hugs*

BE BACK LATER, PROMISE!

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I'm stealing "Dean and Castiel's gay, blasphemous, interspecies love." (Well, I already did above, BUT I'M STEALING IT MOAR.)

Just a warning.

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LOL, steal away! I took the phrase from someone else, and I got permission from them to use it, so I think it's available for public use. :)

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*sniggering* Cas, your Pavlovian response to ground beef is hilarious & so very regrettable! And Dean may say he's giving up burgers for "sex", but really... he's giving 'em up because he loves Cas so much. *nods* Trufax.

I kind of adore Dean for being dense enough to think that beef is angel repellent. OMG, I love this line - Dead cow smell was his angelic kryptonite. HA!!! XD And Sam actually suggested they get BACK to talking about Dean's sex life! I think Dean was getting to close to the fact that Sam's bunking w/Gabriel. *eyebrow waggle*

*snerk* And Dean communicated with Sam's salad. AWESOME!

This is completely fun, and the end is the freakin' best. :D Heck yeah they did! \o/ Also, I agree w/

twfftw, great voices. Very "them".

So... another instance of comment-brevity!fail (because it seems I'm incapable of helping it). *blushes* Regardless, more red hearts for this fic and for you!!

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:) :) :) Thank you so much for the fic love.

Hand it to me straight, though--do I keep making Cas too impressionable? First he needs to have sex near office equipment and now he's repulsed by beefiness!

I'm glad you can see through Dean. I think Cas can, too :) First Dean is fond of him, now he gives up beef (on a limited basis) for him. Obvy, Dean is in love. We're all just waiting for him to admit it. Come on, Dean. We don't have all summer.

And re: the ending, I wonder if we can make

kryptic_pear write us more porn? ;)

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