Thursday - Crack
Nov. 8th, 2012 11:34 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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clwilson2006 are you bored of me yet? Today's theme is good old crack!fic - weird, wacky and insane - we want it all.
The Rules, as usual.
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
No spoilers in prompts.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space.
Prompts should be formatted as follows:
Fandom, Character+/Character, Prompt
examples
SGA, Lorne/Parrish, Lorne is a flower, Parrish is a bee
Sanctuary, Tesla/Helen, kitten!Tesla is helen's favourite
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, they're penguins
or theres always the lonely prompts archive
off you go then
tag=crack
clwilson2006 are you bored of me yet? Today's theme is good old crack!fic - weird, wacky and insane - we want it all.The Rules, as usual.
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
No spoilers in prompts.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space.
Prompts should be formatted as follows:
Fandom, Character+/Character, Prompt
examples
SGA, Lorne/Parrish, Lorne is a flower, Parrish is a bee
Sanctuary, Tesla/Helen, kitten!Tesla is helen's favourite
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, they're penguins
or theres always the lonely prompts archive
off you go then
tag=crack
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:46 pm (UTC)Fill (1/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
Date: 2012-11-08 05:47 pm (UTC)"My shield is talking to me," he said, simply. He could elaborate, maybe. Should. But he figured he should get the panic and/or accusations of being crazy out of the way first, you know?
Tony blinked at him for a second. His expression blanking a little, but drifting more towards vague confusion rather than fear or alarm or cautious 'be nice to the crazy man'. In fact, if anything, he looked a little underwhelmed.
"Okay?" he asked, in the gentle but confused tones of a man whose armour and miscellaneous other pieces of equipment talked to him on a regular basis. Steve ... recognised his error, there.
"My shield doesn't have an AI installed," he prompted, helpfully. "But it's talking to me anyway. I'm a little concerned?" He waved a hand, trying to encompass the problematic aspects of hearing the opinions of otherwise inanimate objects all of a sudden in one vague, slightly annoyed gesture. "I wondered if you had any ideas?"
Tony blinked rapidly. Recalibrating, Miss Potts called it. Getting his brain unstuck, Clint had helpfully translated. "What does it say?" he asked, and Steve had the distinct impression that it was more from morbid curiosity than anything else. But hey. At least he wasn't calling the doctors, yet.
Though he would in a second. Steve took another breath. Long, slow, holding for a full count of ten and letting it out soft. This ... was not going to end well.
And then, he started relaying the last fifteen or so things his shield, usually in the midst of battle, occasionally while cleaning it, had said to him. Around about the fourth phrase, Tony's eyebrows hit his hairline. The ninth, which Steve had considered fairly impressive himself, had the man's jaw gently sagging open. And the eleventh, which Steve thought even Fury would have found respect for, had Tony biting one knuckle around desperately hitching breaths, his eyes bright and shocked and laughing up at Steve.
"That's ..." Tony started, and then shook his head, waiting for the snickers to die back down. "Oh, that's ... Well. It's got a soldier's vocabulary, anyway." And he pressed his hand back up against his mouth to muffle the snorting.
"Yes," Steve answered, repressively, settling heavier on his heels. He shouldn't be annoyed. He really shouldn't. If Tony'd come to him and informed him that his inanimate shield had been cursing like a sailor at him, he'd probably have laughed in the man's face himself. But still. "Are you done?" he asked, and it wasn't at all snitty.
Tony drew in a shuddering breath, nodding desperately and waving a hand as his breathing evened out, and he stopped snorting desperately in Steve's face. "Yup," he managed. "Yeah, no, really. I'm done. I promise."
Steve glared impassively at him for another few seconds until that turned out to actually be the case.
Fill (2/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
From:Re: Fill (2/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
From:Re: Fill (2/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
From:Re: Fill (2/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
From:Re: Fill (2/2) - Acquired Vocabulary
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:48 pm (UTC)FILLED: 100 words on a match made in hell
Date: 2014-02-23 08:47 pm (UTC)Right up to the moment when the bloody high functioning sociopath decided that their culprit was far too interesting to deliver him to the police.
Now Doctor John Watson had to explain to Agent Peter Burke why Neal Caffrey and Sherlock Holmes were currently unmasking the fogery ring of the millennium in Paris together, while John and Peter had tea in 221b Baker Street.
And now they had a consulting detective in cohorts with a consulting criminal and nobody knew what the bloody hell was going to happen next.
John was thrilled.
Re: FILLED: 100 words on a match made in hell
From:Re: FILLED: 100 words on a match made in hell
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:53 pm (UTC)No fill, but...
Date: 2012-11-08 03:09 pm (UTC)Re: No fill, but...
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 05:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
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From:Revelation, Interrupted
From:Re: Revelation, Interrupted
From:Re: Revelation, Interrupted
From:Re: Revelation, Interrupted
From:Re: Revelation, Interrupted
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 02:41 pm (UTC)Leverage/Angel fill: Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats Part 1
Date: 2012-11-09 06:45 am (UTC)After the initial ‘ohmigawd, we’re cats!’ freak-out, Hardison decides that this animal transformation thing is kind of cool. For a dream. Because there’s no way this could not be a dream. It’s too crazy. It’s too…fanficcy. And ain’t that a meta thing to think about a dream?
Except if he was in charge of this dream, he wouldn’t have turned himself into an orange tabby. He would have thought of something cooler, like a tiger. Or a shark. (But not a mako).
Sophie sighs and adapts. Because that’s what she does. So she licks her dainty paw in her most genteel manner and draws it back over her snow-white, fluffy fur, keeping one sly eye on Nate as she does so.
The calico watches, fascinated, then shakes himself. He needs a drink. He groans internally when the craving for milk hits him. Milk. He gives up and flops over on his living room floor with a disgruntled moan. He covers his head with his paws. This is not happening. Not happening.
Parker, having been transformed into a slim black cat, is…exploring. This new, different shape and improved agility calls for a re-exploration of Nate’s entire apartment. The lack of opposable thumbs sucks, but she can work around that.
Eliot, the large smoky-gray tom, growls and bats at his discarded jeans.
“Uh, Eliot, I know we’re cats, but you don’t have to hunt down your own jeans,” Nate says, after watching the once-hitter for a while.
Eliot looks up, blue material caught between wickedly sharp teeth. He drops his mouthful of fabric. “I’m trying to get my phone.”
“Oh,” Parker says, and appears next to him. “Here.” She ducks head-first into the rumpled-up jeans and emerges with the phone in her mouth.
“Who are you going to call?” Sophie asks, but doesn’t abandon her high perch on the couch.
“My brother,” Eliot says, and grunts, hitting the phone with his large paws. “Opposable thumbs would be nice, though.”
Parker nods and hmms in agreement, then shoots away again.
Meanwhile, Hardison has another panic attack about not being able to play with his gadgets. He needs to do something about that. But he can’t, since he doesn’t have opposable thumbs! He whimpers, and a pathetic ‘meeeeee’ sound comes out of his mouth, which he immediately covers with a paw and looks around, as if saying, ‘Not me.’
Then he shakes himself with relief as he realizes…“That’s what voice dialing is for.”
Except it doesn’t work.
“I’m sorry. Please repeat your command.”
“Dammit, Hardison,” Eliot growls menacingly, “Fix it!”
“I can’t!” Hardison exclaims hysterically – panicking again, “I have paws! Paws.”
“Why are we calling your brother?” Nate asks.
“Because he knows about this kind of thing,” Eliot replies, crouching close to the ground and examining the phone with the air of a predator hunting down its prey. The end of his tail twitches menacingly.
“Huh” is all Nate has to say about that. “Interesting.”
Parker pops out of nowhere again, dragging a bag of Hardison’s gummy frogs between her tiny jaws.
“Parker,” Hardison says, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but candy ain’t good for cats. I read that on the internet once.”
“I’m not going to eat it,” the little black cat snorts, dropping her cargo, which also includes a pencil, “I already had a mouse earlier.”
Hardison eeps, despite the sudden growling in his orange belly.
Parker opens the bag with a deft twist of her head and paw, then picks up the pencil in her mouth and stabs a frog with it, impaling it on the sharp point.
“Uh,” Nate says, slightly disturbed by the scene.
“Hrre,” Parker says around the pencil, and passes it over to Eliot, who takes it with a confused look. Parker nods at the phone, at which a look of comprehension dawns on Eliot’s face.
He stands over the phone, then, with his head turned sideways so that the frog touches the screen, carefully taps out the number to his brother’s cell phone.
Leverage/Angel fill: Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats Part 2
From:Re: Leverage/Angel fill: Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats Part 2
From:Re: Leverage/Angel fill: Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats Part 2
From:ACTOR SPOILERS FOR THE HOBBIT
Date: 2012-11-08 02:44 pm (UTC)Sherlock/The Hobbit, Sherlock and John, Smauglock and Johnbo (http://worlds-only-consulting-dragon.tumblr.com/)
Re: ACTOR SPOILERS FOR THE HOBBIT
Date: 2012-11-08 07:10 pm (UTC)Re: ACTOR SPOILERS FOR THE HOBBIT
From:no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 03:16 pm (UTC)Er...crack!pairing counts, right?
Date: 2012-11-08 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 03:19 pm (UTC)Torchwood // implied Jack/Ianto // PG-13
Date: 2012-11-08 09:50 pm (UTC)"It's open," he called; he couldn't turn to have a look, in case the tendrils on the Violets decided to tickle him. Or do more.
Owen entered, keeping an leery eye on the plants: he might be the one to formulate the plant food for them, but he wasn't about to get close to them. "Tending the poseys?"
"I know how to handle them: if you keep your distance, they keep theirs," Ianto said, not taking his eyes off the plants.
"Seems like you know how to handle other things around here, an' you been doin' that a little too well," Owen said, his lab coat rustling as if he'd folded his arms on his chest.
"What are you talking about?" Ianto asked, trying not to sound defensive or embarrassed.
"I'm talking about Jack's little condition: last I knew, you were his main squeeze. Never heard of using a thing called a rubber?" Owen asked.
"Jack didn't think it was necessary," Ianto replied. "He said he'd had surgery..."
"All right, I'll bite: so how did he manage to get pregnant again?"
"Again?" Ianto asked, looking at Owen, and forgetting to keep an eye on the plants. "What do you mean 'again'?"
((The rest can be read Here (http://mtxref-fic.livejournal.com/127339.html).))
Re: Torchwood // implied Jack/Ianto // PG-13
From:Re: Torchwood // implied Jack/Ianto // PG-13
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