Bite Sized Bits of Fic

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Percival Graves + Seraphina Piquery, (203): Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?

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any, any + any/any, (626): Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.

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Hopefully original fiction is okay... this prompt reminded me of 2/3 of my OT3.
--

“Hey Reyes,” Trish called, sliding into the vacant seat across from the detective. “I’ve got a question.”

Zayne put his pen down and frowned at the woman sitting in his partner’s seat. He liked her well enough, but she had a habit of asking shit that wasn’t any of her business. “I’m kinda busy, Rollins. Is it important?

“Oh, it’s definitely important, Reyes,” Trish’s partner, Hilary, said. She grabbed a chair from an unoccupied desk and wheeled it over to where he sat.

Hil wasn’t like Trish. She had her moments of obnoxiousness, of course she did, but they were much rarer than the redheaded terror’s. “Okay, fine. Shoot.”

“So, we all know you’re sleeping with the narco,” Trish said, looking over her shoulder towards the entrance as if Rosewood was going to appear at the mention of his name. “But are you in loooove with him, too?”

“What?” Reyes rolled his eyes and waved his hands at the women. “Look, just because I’m screwing the guy doesn’t mean I love him, okay? Maybe I just want a little nookie with someone I know isn’t a serial killer.” And working as a homicide detective, he’d run into more than a few that could qualify in that department.

Hilary snorted. “How do you know he’s not a serial killer, Zayne?” She leaned an elbow on the edge of his desk and rested her chin in her hand, waiting. “He’s a redhead like this one, you know.” She pointed at her partner, grinning.

“Why the hell should I be afraid of some pasty ass freckled narco,” Zayne asked, unconcerned. The guy could be intimating, that was for sure, but he wasn’t scary in the least.

“I guess that depends on how many freckles he has,” Trish cackled.

“What on earth does his freckle count have to do with anything?” These girls were nuts.

“Didn’t you know, a ginger has a freckle for every soul he steals.” Hilary stole a glance at Trish before adding, “Or she.”

Zayne rolled his eyes again. He was going to give himself a headache if they didn’t stop soon. “I thought gingers didn’t have souls, you whackjob.”

“We don’t,” Trish teased. “Which is why we have to steal them from unsuspecting cowboys like you.”

She pointed a finger at him, threatening the state of his soul, he supposed. He waved her away with a careless flick of his wrist. They were starting to freak him out a little bit, but he couldn’t let either of them know that. “I’m still not worried.”

“Oh yeah,” Trish laughed. “Why not?”

“Because I have the mystical powers of the Romani protecting me,” he stated.

“Do not bring my people into any trouble you might have gotten yourself into, Zayne,” Andrej said from behind Reyes. Finding the edge of an unused desk, he parked his rear on it since Trish was occupying his chair.

Looking over his shoulder, Zayne made a face at his partner. “How the hell did you get in here without me noticing you?” His desk faced the only entrance into homicide and he’d been waiting for Zek to return from lunch with the narco.

Edited Date: 2017-07-26 09:23 pm (UTC)

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“Same way I did, cowboy,” James Rosewood teased, tugging on a wayward lock of Zayne’s hair. “Waited until the girls had you distracted. Not all that hard to get past you sometimes.”

“Go to hell,” Zayne grumbled. “You soulless demon.”

Rosewood laughed. “I’ve gotten a lot of flak for my hair over the years, but can’t say I’ve ever been called a soulless demon. Not even in northern Utah.”

“Shocking,” Zayne drawled, allowing a little more Texas to escape than usual.

“So, the answer is no,” Trish asks, hinting back at what started the discussion in the first place.

Zayne watched as James found a spot on the empty desk beside Zeklos. It wasn’t a surprise that his partner had hooked up with the redhead, it actually made perfect sense since they were so much alike. But how he’d ever gotten drawn into their relationship – and stayed there – boggled his mind at times. Of all his failed relationships, Zayne was astounded that the one that managed to last the longest was with two men. Go figure.

“Reyes,” Trish prompted.

“What?” He flew out of his reverie and landed solidly back in the present. “Um, well, I guess the answer isn’t so much ‘no’ as it is ‘not yet’. How about that?”

“I’d have to say that’s awfully insightful coming from your dumb mouth,” Trish said, her words lacking any sharp edge.

“Do we want to know what the hell is going on here,” James asked, running a hand through his short, coppery hair.

“No,” Andrej said, shaking his head. “Rule number one is never ask what Zayne, Trish, and Hilary have been discussing in your absence.” He turned his gaze onto the women in question and smiled. “I have learned that the hard way. Over and over.”

Hilary let out a bellow that filled the room. “Ain’t that right,” she chuckled. “He has a bad habit of assuming we’re talking shop when we’re usually talking about our sex lives. Poor Andy got the short end of the stick with us.”

“The other question still remains,” Trish interrupted. “Are you positive he’s not a serial killer?”

“Who,” Andrej asked, forgetting his own first rule.

“Rosewood,” Hilary supplied.

Andrej glanced at the man sitting beside him and shrugged. “You don’t. Not until you discover you didn’t wake up one morning. But by then, it is too late.”

“Can’t argue with that,” James laughed.

“Remind me to lock my bedroom door when he sleeps over, okay?” Zayne rolled his chair back and stood, facing Zeklos and the ginger. “You ready to go visit this witness? I’ve been waiting on you for an hour.”

Shrugging, Andrej slid off the edge of the desk and gave James a wink. “It is payback for all the days I waited for you not only to come back from lunch but to arrive,” he scolded lightly. “But yes, let’s go visit this witness before the day gets any older.”

He followed Andrej out of the homicide division of their station and wondered about something Trish had mentioned earlier. “Hey Zek,” he said, stopping with a hand on the door handle of the car.

“Yes, Zayne,” Andrej said, looking over the car’s roof at Reyes.

“Is the narco freckled like all over?”

Andrej’s cheeks flushed red, or as red as they could get with his caramel colored skin. “He is and you should know this.”

“Yeah, well, I always have other things on my mind when he’s naked. Can’t say I pay much attention to the details.”

“I – I can understand that,” Andrej spluttered, his embarrassment obvious. “Why do you ask?”

He loved it when he could ruffle Zeklos’ generally composed demeanor. And when he blushed like that? Hell yeah. “No real reason,” he said, getting into the car. Waiting until Zeklos had pulled out of the parking spot, he asked, “Ever heard the old idea that a ginger has a freckle for every soul he’s stolen?”

Andrej braked at the red light and looked at his partner. “I had better not catch you counting Jay’s freckles while he’s sleeping.”

“You take the fun out of everything,” Zayne teased, settling back against his seat.

“Only trying to keep from having to investigate my partner’s homicide,” Andrej muttered.

Zayne laughed and repeated what he said earlier. “I’m not afraid of his pasty ass. But I promise, I’ll only count his freckles when he’s awake.” Besides, it had to be so much more fun that way.

From:

Original is absolutely ok! This was really funny, thank you for filling my prompt :)

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Yay! I don't actually write much fanfic so I always worry. But I'm very thankful you liked it. :D

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Person of Interest, any + any, (423): I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.

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any, any + any m/m, (647): My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits? (416): Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.

From:

travels-in-time.livejournal.com

--My fuck buddy just proposed…

--WOW! 1) How drunk are you? 2) You never told me you had a fuck buddy, you dog! 3) Are you ok?

--3) Fine. 1) Kind of a lot, rn. Why? 2) I don't tell you everything, It was just an arragnemnt.

--Maybe you thought it was just an arrangement. Clearly she thought differently. I figured you're drunk because you wouldn't normally use that term.

--No, sorry. Was just really surprised. Didn't ses this coming. Correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of fIRENDS with benefits?

--Now you can be friends with insurance benefits! :D

...

--Answer your phone, Tony! Or call me! I can't have this conversation over drunk-text!

--Don't wanna talk

--So obviously you didn't say yes. What did you do? Did you run? Where are you now? Are you ok?

--Didn't to anything. yeah. I awlays run.

--Tell me where you are, Tony, I'll come get you.

--I'm fine, Abss. Just confused. Didnt think it was headed that way.

--You never thought she might have actual feelings for you?

…

--Tony?

--No.

--Oh, Tony. Do you have actual feelings for her? Or was it all, you know, just primal lust? Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm all for primal lust.

--DiNozzos dont have feelings.

--I'm sending you a huge invisible hug through the ether right now. *squishes*

--I got it Thx Abs

--So you do like her? Then what's the problem? Did you even consider it before you freaked out?

…

--TONY!

--Maybe. For a while now. Not serisouly

--Because you didn't know she cared. But now you know she loves you, and you love her, and you should go back to her and live happily ever after!

--Not sure I know how. Not really the marrying kind. Not like him.

--HIM? TONY DINOZZO IS YOUR FUCK BUDDY A GUY? WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT YOU? WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME? I KNOW ALL THESE GREAT CLUBS I COULD HAVE TAKEN YOU TO!

…

--OK, OK, I'm calm. Tony, that's so sweet! You're in love, it doesn't matter if it's with a guy!

--It's a guy who's the marrying kind…

--OMG TONY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH GIBBS

--TONY DID GIBBS JUST PROPOSE TO YOU?!?! OMGOMGOMG TONY YOU CALL ME RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!

…

--TONY ANSWER YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE! AND IF YOU'RE NOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU MYSELF FOR BREAKING RULE 3!

...

...

--I got him, Abby. He'll be fine.

--GIBBS? GIBBS, IS THAT YOU? YOU FOUND HIM? DID HE SAY YES? OMG I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING! I NEED DETAILS!!!

--Good night, Abs. Turning the phone off now.

--GIBBSSSSSSS!

…

--XOXOXOXOXOXO <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

--BEST. DRUNK-TEXTING. EVER.

Edited Date: 2017-07-27 01:49 am (UTC)

From:

I awlays run. Aww, Tony! Thank you for filling my prompt :)

From:

This was amazing. And a double plus that I heard it in each of their voices. :D

From:

Marvel, Clint Barton +/ any, (563): You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs. (1-563): That's some kind of record drunk there...

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Star Trek (AOS), Any Friendship (978): I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life

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MCU, Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes or T'Challa/Bucky Barnes, (320): Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.

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MCU, Darcy Lewis (+Any), (804): I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.

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Spartacus, Agron/Nasir + Duro, (970): You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more

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Duro sat across from Nasir at the table with his bowl of cereal. He took a bit as he watched Nasir fade in and out. "So," He started and Nasir's eyes opened again, glaring at Duro for daring to talk. "You and my brother."

Nasir sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "Please tell me that I didn't do anything stupid last night."

Duro laughed and Nasir winced at the noise. Duro took pity on him and lowered his voice. "You asked to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent," Duro replied, smirking when he saw the blush spread across his friend's face. "Need I say more?"

"I did not."

Duro nodded. "Yeah, you did." He took another bite of his cereal as he heard the bathroom door open and close. "So, did you guys do it?"

Nasir balled up a napkin and chucked it at Duro. "I doubt it. Half our clothes were still on." He groaned and shook his head. "I must have looked like a fool."

"Agron is a fool when he gets drunk too, so you two make the perfect match," He said, as Agron walked in. The elder brother spared a glance at Duro before going into the kitchen to make coffee. "Morning, Agron!"

"Ugh, don't talk so fucking loud," Agron grumbled, walking back out and sitting down next to Nasir. He smiled at the Syrian who blushed and hid behind his coffee mug. "I'm sorry, if I acted like an idiot at all last night."

Nasir looked up at him. "I uh-I actually don't remember much about last night. I remember Crixus trying to serenade Naevia and then nothing."

Agron laughed. "That's about all I remember too." He smiled and leaned against Nasir. "Would you uh-would you like to get breakfast with me today?"

Duro rolled his eyes and grabbed his cereal. "You two are going to be be one of those super lovey dovey couples, I can just feel it." He felt something soft hit his back as he turned to leave. "Real mature Agron, real mature. Enjoy your date. I'm gonna stay home and upload the video of you belting out Britney Spears."

"Duro!"

From:

This was so much fun (for Duro as well, I assume *lol*)! I loved it :D Thank you so much for the fill!

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Any, Any Female Character + Any, (315): I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now

From:

cozy-coffee.livejournal.com

Any, any, (604) I want cookies, and sex...but mostly cookies!

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Teen Wolf, any/any,

My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?

Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.

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any, any, I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.

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any, any femslash, I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.

From:

evil-little-dog.livejournal.com

Iron Man, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts:
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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evil-little-dog.livejournal.com

The Avengers, Tony Stark+Any:
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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evil-little-dog.livejournal.com

Lucifer (tv), Lucifer Morningstar + Daniel Espinoza:
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

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Any (please no SPN), author's choice, (203):
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.

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Dragon Age, anypair, (203):
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.

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Dragon Age, any M/M, (773):
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.

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Iron Man movies, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, (231):
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.

(989):
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.

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Tortall, Kel + any, (402):
I look excited, but its just a facade.

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Shameless, Mandy / Ian Gallagher, Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.

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Supernatural rpf, Jensen Ackles /Jared padalecki, Still fucking the ballerina?

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One direction rpf, harry styles /zayn mailk, The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.

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