It had been twenty years, twenty damned long years, and she stood in front of a headstone, staring down at the words carved into it.
Twenty years of hearing her mother say how wonderful her father had been.
Twenty years of her father's friends trying to fill in the gaps his death left behind.
Twenty years of doubt and loss and rage that her father died and left her to grow up without him, without even any memories of her own, because he'd been dead before she'd started speaking in complete sentences.
She'd tried ways to spackle the holes - acting out when younger and moving on to smoking, then to sex, from there to drink, and finally to drugs. She'd hurt herself trying to gut that loss out of her life.
All before she'd turned eighteen, she'd dated older men, got pregnant, got beaten up by a man she used both as a lover and a daddy, lost the baby, lived on the street, and now, now, she stood in front of her father's grave.
"You should've been here," Elicia said to the stone. "I needed you. I still need you."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-12-30 05:42 pm (UTC)i ate death
by the fistful
to forget him.
Fill, works for any-verse. Warnings for self-abuse/miscarriage/abuse.
Date: 2017-12-31 03:26 am (UTC)Twenty years of hearing her mother say how wonderful her father had been.
Twenty years of her father's friends trying to fill in the gaps his death left behind.
Twenty years of doubt and loss and rage that her father died and left her to grow up without him, without even any memories of her own, because he'd been dead before she'd started speaking in complete sentences.
She'd tried ways to spackle the holes - acting out when younger and moving on to smoking, then to sex, from there to drink, and finally to drugs. She'd hurt herself trying to gut that loss out of her life.
All before she'd turned eighteen, she'd dated older men, got pregnant, got beaten up by a man she used both as a lover and a daddy, lost the baby, lived on the street, and now, now, she stood in front of her father's grave.
"You should've been here," Elicia said to the stone. "I needed you. I still need you."
Stones never answer. Neither do the dead.
Elicia spat on the ground and walked away.
Re: Fill, works for any-verse. Warnings for self-abuse/miscarriage/abuse.
Date: 2017-12-31 09:05 pm (UTC)Re: Fill, works for any-verse. Warnings for self-abuse/miscarriage/abuse.
Date: 2018-01-01 01:30 am (UTC)