Bite Sized Bits of Fic

Worth It RPF, Andrew Ilnyckyj/any, James Bond AU

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Ocean's movies, any, pirate AU

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Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Arthurian AU

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MCU, Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, royalty AU

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vanillafluffy.livejournal.com

My brain took this idea and bounced it into a mash-up with Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.. Sam and Bucky have the same kind of bickering relationship as Robin and Azeem. Peggy would certainly make an interesting Maid Marion, but somehow, Steve in the guise of Will Scarlet just makes me giggle....

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ahaha I would be so down for that!

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Buzzfeed Unsolved RPF, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Wizard of Oz AU where Ryan is the Cowardly Lion and Shane is the Tin Man

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Stargate Atlantis, Ensemble, New Age Shop AU

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“Why do you want me to do it?”

Evan accepted the large platter covered in tiny pieces of banana bread from his kitchen partner, Aiden.

“Because you’re more charismatic than I am.” Aiden turned away from Evan and began to idly clean counters in an attempt to look occupied.

“A lack of charisma isn’t going to change whether or not people like your new banana bread recipe.”

Aiden dropped the rag on the counter a little melodramatically, in Evan’s opinion.

“I have an appointment with Jennifer, okay?”

Evan raised his eyebrow. “You’re getting an aura reading?”

“Yes, Chuck said that he gets a vibe from me and I kept thinking about it and it started to get to me, so I’m having Jennifer read my aura to see if I give off...negative energy or something and if I can do anything about it.” Aiden folded his arms and began to pout.

Evan laughed. “It’s okay. I’ll go give out samples.” Before he reached the door, Evan turned back to Aiden, his expression puzzled.

“Wait. Isn’t Ronon doing readings right now?”

Aiden nodded. “Yes. Your crush is reading tarot right now.”

Evan’s eyes went wide “Shut up. People will hear you.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone already knows. Including Ronon.” Aiden smirked and grabbed his jacket. “Anyway, Elizabeth is letting Jennifer use one of the classrooms so we’ll have more privacy.”

Evan stopped himself from making a lewd comment, because he knew getting the aura reading was completely outside of Aiden’s comfort zone. Instead, he held the door open for him and gestured for Aiden to leave. Evan followed him out, carrying the tray of samples and putting on a salesworthy smile.

First, he offered the platter to Chuck, his barista. Chuck looked up from his book, Technology and the Modern Wizard, and took a piece of bread. He chewed, swallowed, and then went back to reading.

Evan rolled his eyes. “Verdict, Chuck?”

“It’s banana bread. And you’re giving it to me because Mr. Prickly needs to figure out how to not be so prickly. But tell him I said it was good.”

Evan walked out from behind the counter, up a few small steps, and into the Atlantis Apothecary’s storefront. Teyla was busy answering the questions of a young, blonde woman. The woman seemed a bit on the petulant side, but you’d never know by looking at Teyla’s face. She seemed as calm and placid as ever. Peter, however, was not busy with a customer - just busy with his laptop.

“Mr. Grodin.”

Peter glanced at Evan and smiled, but looked back at his laptop. “Mr. Lorne. What can I do for you? Do you want to schedule a tarot reading with our own Ronon Dex, perhaps?”

Evan felt his cheeks burn red, and he cleared his throat. “Ah, no. Would you like to try a brand new recipe from Pegasus Cafe? Banana bread.”

Peter picked up a sample and ate it, brushing off his hands before going back to his laptop. “Mmm. That’s actually quite exquisite. What’s the secret ingredient?”

Evan grinned. “Bananas.”

Peter rolled his eyes.

Evan nodded toward the apothecary, where there was currently no one standing watch. “What about Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Jekyll’s Brother?”

Peter shrugged. “They’re back there. Just ring the bell if you want them to arise from their lair.”

Evan walked over to the apothecary counter, sat his tray down, and dinged the bell with his palm. Radek stuck his head out the door and looked around wildly. His gaze narrowed when he set his sights on Evan.

“What? What do you want?”

“Do you want some banana bread?”

Radek looked back over his shoulder. “Carson! Do we want banana bread?” Radek looked back at Evan. “Who made it?”

This was getting to be more trouble than it was worth, but at least Evan’s work life was interesting. “Aiden made it.”

Radek glanced back again. “Evan says Aiden made it.”

Evan heard footsteps and the next thing he knew, Carson was pushing Radek through the door and toward the counter.

“Aye, if wee Aiden made it, then I suppose I should try it. To lift his spirits and all."

Carson took two samples off the tray and practically inhaled them. He nodded. “Good. It’s good. He put brown sugar innit, didn’t he?”

Evan chuckled. “He didn't say. He just told me to pass it out.”

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Carson nodded and stood with his arms folded for a few seconds. “Off I go, then.” And just like that Carson was back inside the apothecary.

Radek continued to stand there, fiddling with a candle and a small, sharp knife. Evan picked the platter up and gently waved it in front of Radek’s face. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you?”

Radek shrugged. “I don’t know. Can I tempt you with this virility candle I’m carving?”

Evan looked back at the candle and realized it looked vaguely like a penis.

“I’m just...I’m gonna go.”

Evan turned around and found himself face to face with Teyla.

“Not without offering me some of that banana bread. I need it.” She took a few pieces off of the plate and ate them hastily.

“Fun customer?” Evan smiled sympathetically.

“If that Sora girl comes in here again just to argue with me, I am going to tell her to leave. Why bother coming in here at all if she thinks all we sell is nonsense?”

“I don’t know. Why does a highly skeptical scientist come to a metaphysical shop to get his coffee?”

Teyla laughed. “Doctor McKay? He says that Pegasus Cafe has the best coffee in town. I think, coming from him, that is a very high compliment.”

“Speaking of the good doctor, he came in while you were in the kitchen. You should let him try a sample,” Peter piped up from behind them.

“Good luck, Evan.” Teyla smiled and went back behind the counter to her customary spot. “I think Ronon is almost done with his last appointment. He will want to try some too, I am sure.”

Evan walked back into the common area, and looked around for Dr. McKay. He finally spotted him in the corner, chatting with that cute elven-looking man with the spiky hair, the one who came in every now and then for rituals. And was Dr. McKay...laughing?

Evan approached the two of them, very much aware that he might have been interrupting something. Dr. McKay stopped mid-sentence and looked up at Evan with a fiendish glare.

“Yes, what? What do you want?”

Evan held out his tray. “Free sample?”

Dr. McKay turned his glare to the tray. “What is it? Is there lemon in it?”

Evan shook his head. “Pretty sure there isn’t any lemon in banana bread.”

Dr. McKay took a sip of his coffee. “Well, I’m not going to take any chances.”

“Come on Rodney, be a sport.”

The elven man was even more handsome up close. He smiled crookedly and took a sample, popping it delicately into his mouth. He chewed and began to nod enthusiastically.

“Wow, this is really good. Did you make this?”

Evan couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “No, my partner, that is, uh, partner in the kitchen made it. His name is Aiden. I’m Evan Lorne.”

The words came tumbling out of Evan in a rush. The stranger offered him his hand.

“John Sheppard. Nice to meet you. Do you run the cafe?”

“Yeah, I rent it from the owner of the apothecary.”

Rodney cleared his throat. “Mister Lorne?”

Evan glanced at the doctor, who Evan mentally noted had the full name of Rodney McKay. “Yes, Mister McKay?”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “It’s Doctor McKay. Can I have a refill, please?”

Evan balanced the tray in one hand, and took Rodney’s coffee cup from him. “Certainly.” He then turned toward John. “Would you like anything?”

John shook his head, smiling. “Oh, no, I’m fine. Thank you though.”

Evan walked behind the counter, set down the mostly empty tray of samples, and went about brewing another coffee for Rodney. He then heard Chuck clear his throat very loudly.

“Oh, hello. Ronon.”

Evan gritted his teeth but continued making Rodney’s coffee. He turned around, and there Ronon was in front of the counter, lazily shuffling his tarot cards.

“Hello,” Ronon said.

Evan smiled, but tried to keep his look even and measured, and not like a lovesick teenager.

“Hi Ronon. Let me just give this coffee to Rodney and I’ll be right back.”

“You’re on a first name basis with him now?” Ronon chuckled, a low rumbling sound that made Evan weak in the knees. Evan walked over, gave Rodney his coffee, and walked away before Rodney could say thank you. Not that he would.

“Rodney says thank you, Evan.”

“You’re welcome, John,” Evan called back over his shoulder.

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Evan casually walked up to the counter and leaned up against it, standing right next to Ronon. “So, what’s good here?”

Ronon grinned. “Everything. What’s that on the tray?”

Evan pushed the tray in front of Ronon. “Banana bread. Want some?”

Ronon ate a piece. And then another. And then another. And then two more at once.

“It's really good. You made it?” Ronon asked.

Evan shook his head. “Nope. That would be Aiden.”

Ronon leaned toward Evan, his voice low and conspiratorial. “I saw him go back to a classroom with Jennifer.”

Evan shrugged. “Just an aura reading.”

“Sure.” Ronon said, smirking. He then slapped his tarot cards onto the counter, cut them, and pushed the pile in front of Evan.

“Pick a card, any card.”

Evan picked up the top card and turned it over. On it was a mostly naked fairy, standing waist-deep in a lake. She was pouring water from a chalice into a small fountain, and she stood underneath a starry sky.

The bottom of the card read 18 - The Star.

Ronon smiled. “Close your eyes, and make a wish.”

Evan closed his eyes. He thought, I wish Ronon would -

And then his wish came true, because somebody was kissing him, and it better be Ronon, and not Chuck -

He opened his eyes. Ronon was gazing back at him shyly.

“Boy, you’re good.”

Ronon nudged him. “Next time, I’ll do a whole reading for you.”

Evan’s eyes went wide. “O-okay.”

“What’d everybody think?”

Evan jumped. Aiden and Jennifer were standing right behind them. Ronon picked up the nearly empty tray and handed it to Aiden.

“The gods have spoken.”

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Squeeing so hard! That was so cute. I love Aiden and Evan as baking partners, first of all. LOL at Teyla and Sora arguing.

Chuck's taste in books is awesome. It's a tiny detail in canon, how he always reads interesting books, but...well done!

I love how everyone knows Evan has a crush on Ronon and is just relentless about it.

And then the end with the Star and the kiss and...ugh. So many cute and fluffy feels. :iz ded:

Well done.

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Wheee!! I love this! Evan making the rounds with the tray of banana bread, which is such a good way to introduce all the characters. What a fun crew! Radek avoiding the bread because he was busy with the penis candle. Everyone telling Evan where Ronon was.

And then smoochies! This was so adorable, thank you so much for getting this idea and inspiring this prompt and then filling this prompt. ::grins:: Teamwork!

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Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, cat burglar AU

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Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Vietnam War AU

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Stargate Atlantis/Any, Evan Lorne/Any, Before Sunrise AU

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Any, any m/m, professional dancer AU

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As soon as Ronon saw the smoke, he called it in. Even though he was off-duty and exhausted, as soon as he heard the screams from within, he started toward the building.

Someone else was already there, hoisting children out the window. He peered through the smoke, saw Ronon, shouted something unintelligible.
Ronon was there in an instant, accepting children from him, setting them on the ground, directing them to head to the other end of the street.

The other guy was shorter than Ronon but strong, broad across the shoulders. Was he from another firehouse? Ronon didn’t recognize him through the smoke and ash smeared on his face.

He took a step back, scanned the windows and other openings, watching for flame patterns. How structurally sound was the building? It was brick, an elementary school, designed and built in the fifties, if not before. Was it up to code? It might have been grandfathered in.

Ronon glanced at his watch. The nearest firehouse had a response time of nine minutes at best. It had been five since he’d called.

Then he realized he couldn’t see the other guy anymore.

There were still screams and sobs inside.

Ronon approached the window, the collar of his t-shirt up over his nose and mouth as an ineffectual barrier against the smoke. “Hey! Where are you?”

And then the other guy materialized in the smoke, handed Ronon a screaming toddler.

For one moment their gazes locked. The other guy had blue, blue eyes.

“How many more are there?” Ronon asked.

“Teacher said twenty-five,” the guy said.

Ronon glanced over his shoulder, did a head count. Twenty-three.

“I think I can get the last two,” the guy said. “Be right back.” And he darted into the smoke.

Ronon shouted, “Wait!”

There was an ear-splitting crack.

Ronon recoiled sharply, watched in horror as part of the roof started to collapse.

People on the sidewalk screamed.

And then Ronon heard the blessed, blessed sound of fire engine sirens.
Ronon ran to meet the first engine, hoisted himself up onto it.

Lieutenant Murray was a stand-up guy, smart.

“There’s a civilian inside. He said he was going after two more kids. Roof just collapsed. Send in extraction.”

Murray nodded. “Indeed.”

Captain Shanahan hit the ground running.

Ronon was surprised but relieved to see Chief O’Neill riding along, barker orders at the probies.

Ronon wanted to ask for a suit so he could gear up and go in, but this wasn’t his team, and he’d disrupt their rhythm.

He started herding the rubberneckers and bystanders away from the building. There were passersby, terrified parents, a gaggle of skinny girls who were all crying. It took Ronon a moment to find the teacher.

“You - you’re the teacher?”

She nodded, eyes wide, face wet with tears. Tiny crying children were pressed in on her from all sides.

“How many students did you have?”

“Twenty-five.”

“How many are here?”

“Only twenty-three.”

Ronon spun away from her, headed back toward the engines. There were two of them, teams working hoses. Ambulances had arrived, and EMTs were triaging the emotionally traumatized from the physically injured.
Ronon was frustrated, helpless, watching the hoses run, watching flames turn to smoke and steam.

Where were the extraction teams?

A high-pitched chorus of shouts and cries went up, and Ronon saw the gaggle of skinny girls with gym bags surge forward. A couple of firemen stepped in to intercept them.

“Evan!” one of the girls called out. “Are you okay?”

And Ronon saw half a dozen firemen emerging from the building, two with crying toddlers, two supporting that guy between them, two more armed with axes and shields.

EMTs swarmed them.

Ronon darted through the crowd toward them, made it to the guy’s - Evan’s - side.

He was wide-eyed, his face streaked and smeared with ash, inhaling gratefully on fresh oxygen, wrapped in a rough wool emergency blanket.

“Are all the kids all right?” he asking.

“They’re fine,” the EMT said. “What’s your name?”

“Evan Lorne.”

“What day is it?”

“Tuesday.”

“Who’s the President?”

“I didn’t hit my head or pass out,” he said. “Really, I’m fine. I just -”

“You need to go to the hospital for further treatment for smoke inhalation,” the EMT said. “You want someone to ride along with you?”

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Evan said, “Jennifer has my bag. With my stuff in it. Insurance info.” He pointed to the gaggle of girls on the sidewalk, the skinny pretty ones.

O’Neill, who was hovering, asked, “What station are you with?”
Evan blinked at him. “Station?”

And then the girls were all over him, patting him down and crying.

“Oh, Evan, you were so brave! That was so scary! Don’t do that again!”

“You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

“Are your knees and ankles all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Evan said patiently. “Jennifer, can I have my bag? It has my wallet in it. I need my insurance card.”

One of the girls handed him a gym bag.

Another clung to his arm. “You’ll still be there for me tomorrow, right? For my audition? No one does lifts like you do -”

“He’ll be released from the hospital when the doctor says he’s ready,” the EMT said firmly. “You riding along or not?”

“I will,” Ronon said. He scrambled up into the ambulance, plopped down on the bench beside Evan.

“Do you want us to call Director Weir?” one of the girls asked as they all backed away from the ambulance.

Evan nodded. “Please.”

The EMTs shut the back doors, and one of them banged on the divider, and then the ambulance was pulling away.

Evan sank back against the side of the ambulance, taking deep breaths.

He looked exhausted.

He was beautiful.

“You’re crazy,” Ronon said. “Running into a burning building without gear like that.”

Evan shrugged. “There were kids. Thanks for helping me.”

“It’s what we do, isn’t it?”

Evan blinked at him.

“We firemen,” Ronon said. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Ah, no.” Evan started to laugh, but it turned into a cough.

Ronon pounded him on the back.

One of the EMTs opened a bottle of water and handed it to him.

Evan drank deeply, inhaled some more clean oxygen.

“’M not a fireman,” he managed, hoarse.

Ronon stared at him. “Who are you?”

“That’s a complicated metaphysical question.”

“What do you do, if you’re not a fireman?”

“I’m a ballet dancer.”

Ronon stared at him some more.

Evan made a lifting motion with one arm, shrugged innocently.

So that was why all those girls had been worried about him, asking after his ankles and knees.

“Well, you’re damn brave for a ballet dancer.”

“There are a lot of dudes who would rather run into a burning building than prance around on a stage in front of hundreds of people wearing nothing but tights and gold paint,” Evan said.

“True.” Ronon eyed him. “Nothing but tights and gold paint?”

Evan shrugged. “I’m just a dancer, not a costume designer.”

“Bet it looked pretty hot,” Ronon said.

Evan arched an eyebrow at him.

One of the EMTs said, “It totally did.”

Ronon and Evan both stared at her.

“I have season tickets to the ballet,” she said.

Ronon nudged Evan. “Go on a date with me?”

“When I’m released from the hospital, sure.”

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This is so adorable! I love that Evan is so heroic saving all those children, and that Ronon just assumes he's a fellow firefighter. All those little girls clustering around Evan and fretting over him was so cute.

And Ronon asked him out! Hee! I love this, thank you!

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Thanks! I saw this and knew you meant it for my ballet AU and I figured Evan and Ronon’s meet cute deserved some screen time. :)

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PFFFFT I love Ronon and Evan. Ugh. SEND HELP OKAY. ALSO DANCING AND FIREFIGHTERS.

Also, the girls freaking out over Evan. Lulz.

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