Monday's Theme is: CRACK!
May. 7th, 2018 06:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
squidgiepdx posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
comment_ficHello Everyone, and welcome to the start of a new week. I'm ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
squidgiepdx and today's theme is crack. You can take this quite literally, from a crack in pavement, or some character cracking up over something going on - or you can take it the way I am, and that's the giant whackado that is crack fandom. You know, like having Deadpool showing up in the middle of a Golden Girls episode and hitting on Sophia? Or replacing John Boy in the Waltons with Super SEAL Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-0? Or maybe it's turning every male character of Stargate Atlantis into drag queens. Who can say? As long as it's crack, it's whack! I mean, it works!
Just a few rules:
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
Use the character's full names and fandom's full name for ease adding to the Lonely Prompts spreadsheet.
No spoilers in prompts for a month after airing, or use the spoiler cut option found here.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space, or use the spoiler cut.
If there are possible triggers in your story, please warn for them in the subject line!
Prompts should be formatted as follows: [Use the character's full names and fandom's full name]
Fandom, Character +/ Character, Prompt
Some examples to get the ball rolling...
+ Stargate Atlantis, Sheppard's Team, Going to a planet that worships what look like old black & white Earth TV shows
+ Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Steve moonlights as a stripper which is how he and Danny actually met before the Five-0 task force began
+ Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne/Any, Finding out Evan's fetish is...muppets
We use AO3 to bookmark filled prompts. If you fill a prompt and post it to AO3 please add it to the Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2018 collection. See further notes on this new option here.
Not feeling any of today’s prompts? Check out Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 1 (not very current), Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 2, or the Calendar Archives, or for more recent prompts, you can use LJ's advanced search options to find prompts to request and/or fill.
While the Lonely Prompts Spreadsheets and LJ's advanced search options are available, bookmarking the links of prompts you like might work better for searching for in the future.
tag=crack
squidgiepdx and today's theme is crack. You can take this quite literally, from a crack in pavement, or some character cracking up over something going on - or you can take it the way I am, and that's the giant whackado that is crack fandom. You know, like having Deadpool showing up in the middle of a Golden Girls episode and hitting on Sophia? Or replacing John Boy in the Waltons with Super SEAL Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-0? Or maybe it's turning every male character of Stargate Atlantis into drag queens. Who can say? As long as it's crack, it's whack! I mean, it works!Just a few rules:
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
Use the character's full names and fandom's full name for ease adding to the Lonely Prompts spreadsheet.
No spoilers in prompts for a month after airing, or use the spoiler cut option found here.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space, or use the spoiler cut.
If there are possible triggers in your story, please warn for them in the subject line!
Prompts should be formatted as follows: [Use the character's full names and fandom's full name]
Fandom, Character +/ Character, Prompt
Some examples to get the ball rolling...
+ Stargate Atlantis, Sheppard's Team, Going to a planet that worships what look like old black & white Earth TV shows
+ Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Steve moonlights as a stripper which is how he and Danny actually met before the Five-0 task force began
+ Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne/Any, Finding out Evan's fetish is...muppets
We use AO3 to bookmark filled prompts. If you fill a prompt and post it to AO3 please add it to the Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2018 collection. See further notes on this new option here.
Not feeling any of today’s prompts? Check out Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 1 (not very current), Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 2, or the Calendar Archives, or for more recent prompts, you can use LJ's advanced search options to find prompts to request and/or fill.
While the Lonely Prompts Spreadsheets and LJ's advanced search options are available, bookmarking the links of prompts you like might work better for searching for in the future.
tag=crack
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no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 01:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 02:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 02:56 pm (UTC)Not a fill
Date: 2018-05-07 03:40 pm (UTC)Fill:
Date: 2018-05-07 04:03 pm (UTC)Hearing a noise at his feet, Danny looked down. “Oh no,” he said. “This is some kind of joke. Steve, you can come out now.” The only response came from the seal, which made a guttural noise. “You’re not telling me you’re a seal, are you?”
The seal nodded its head.
“So what am I supposed to do now?” Danny asked. “Sit on the beach until you change back?”
The seal wriggled slightly, which Danny felt could have been described as shrugging its shoulders.
There wasn’t much alternative to remaining on the beach. Danny considered driving them back to the condo, but he wasn’t convinced he could lift the seven foot seal into the back of a pickup. Nevertheless he suggested it, but the mournful way the seal looked at him with its big brown eyes convinced him not to try it.
In the end, he settled on the sand, the seal lying contentedly by his side. With nothing else to do, Danny started to doze, and then fell asleep.
When he woke he was delighted to see Steve McGarrett back in his usual form. The problem came when Steve started to stride down the beach calling for him, and Danny had to propel himself across the sand using his flippers.
Re: Fill:
Date: 2018-05-07 04:06 pm (UTC)Re: Fill:
Date: 2018-05-07 04:10 pm (UTC)Re: Fill:
Date: 2018-05-07 04:12 pm (UTC)Re: Fill:
Date: 2018-05-07 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 04:34 pm (UTC)Fill: Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock Holmes
Date: 2018-05-07 06:19 pm (UTC)“He is rather,” John Watson agreed. The tiny kitten spat at him, but John just rubbed its head, ignoring the look of contempt in the bright green eyes. “I’ve sent Mycroft a text to let him know.”
There was a ping on John’s phone, and he read the reply to his message (‘Sherlock turned into a kitten), which said, ‘Excellent. Have instructed Anthea to purchase tins of tuna and a litter tray.’ John showed the text to the kitten, which pointedly turned its back and started to have a wash.
“How long do you think he’ll stay like that?” Mrs Hudson asked.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to make good use of the time while he does.”
John continued to stroke the kitten, which tried to object, but finally gave up and purred.
Re: Fill: Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock Holmes
Date: 2018-05-07 06:29 pm (UTC)Fill 1/2 (sooooo NSFW)
Date: 2018-05-07 06:35 pm (UTC)Atlantis was the SGC’s penal colony. People with black marks - like John - and people the SGC didn’t like - like Rodney - had ended up there at the outset. When it looked like the expedition was a one-way trip, John, Rodney, Elizabeth, Beckett, and Heightmeyer made an executive decision: some rules could go out the window. Like DADT.
As it turned out, Atlantis was also a haven for the Friends of Dorothy, the ones looking to escape the close scrutiny of the SGC. Markham and Stackhouse. Bates and pretty much anyone.
Rodney and John.
And then Earth reestablished contact with the SGC, and Atlantis’s senior command had to make a choice. Which rules should they reinstate? Earth was watching.
Except Earth was still using Atlantis as its penal colony, for the disliked - Cadman, too perky and girlish for the Marines - and the ones with black marks - Lorne, for having mightily disregarded science protocol one time and getting one of his men killed.
So senior command decided - what the hell. Atlantis was theirs. If Earth wanted to stop heroic men and women from constant battle with space vampires and nuclear-capable fake-Amish because of who they liked to fuck, well, they were crazy.
Given that everyone knew that O’Neill and Jackson had been doing it since about day one (and Jackson took regular trips to DC for booty calls), the SGC was pretty laissez-faire about a lot of rules, especially with all the homosexual and polyamorous weddings that went down on alien planets in the name of diplomacy and trading. Add to that the increasingly international nature of the whole Stargate venture, and so long as people were doing their jobs, the SGC and IOA were willing to overlook a whole lot.
Of course, Atlantis had been its own entity for a year, cut off from Earth, was a little bit Lord of the Flies for the new personnel who shipped over on the Daedalus. The trick was to ease them into the Atlantis way of things.
Cadman didn’t ease in. She dove right in, tapped Beckett her first week on base and Zelenka the second and gave pretty much every scientist who caught her eye a fair shake. A lot of the other Marines followed her example, and Heightmeyer was pleased at the new personnel were integrating so well.
(How Caldwell remained oblivious, no one knew, and no one wanted to find out.)
John had privately thought it utterly insane that the initial chain of command for Atlantis as established by the SGC had been a full bird O-6, John and O-4 but removed from the chain of command, and then Ford, an O-2. So he was pleased when he made O-5 and the SGC gave him Lorne as an O-4, plus a slew of other O-3s and O-2s and O-1s to round things out, plus some NCOs to keep the Marines in line. And Lorne was a model O-4, always on top of his paperwork, keeping supply lines running smoothly, even taking some of the paperwork burden off of John.
John liked him. He had great deadpan, could stop Rodney in his tracks sometimes when he was on a real screed.
Lorne was boring as hell, though. Never went drinking with the other officers. Never joined in with the communal trips to the giant hot tubs that had been discovered on one of the lower levels. Never even sat down for a good round of team-building with Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare. He smiled politely, called John sir, and retreated to his quarters alone at the end of his shift.
He was an artist, his teammates reported. He drew a lot.
“Maybe he’s ace,” Cadman suggested one night during O-club strip poker.
“You think?” Toriel asked.
“We could just ask him,” Dorsey said. “He’s never seemed prudish or anything, like when I invited him to that gang-bang with Charlie Company Fire Team Twelve. Just said ‘no thanks’ and moved along.”
Negley wriggled out of her bra. “True. I mean, if he’s ace, no big deal. We’re all open about stuff.”
“Who’s gonna ask him?” Crown was eyeing his hand of cards with a worryingly blank expression.
“You should,” Toriel said to John.
“No, I don’t want to pressure him.”
Fill 2/2 (sooooo NSFW)
Date: 2018-05-07 06:37 pm (UTC)“Maybe Dorsey,” Ronon suggested. Even though he wasn’t an officer, he was invited to strip poker every time, because he was terrible at poker and always the first one to get naked. “He’s a major too, right?”
Dorsey set down his cards with a flourish. Full house. “Sure, I can do that.”
The next week, at Spin the Bottle (which was always mixed, soldiers and civilians alike - they used one of Rodney’s empty Molson’s bottles), Dorsey reported.
“He says he’s not ace.”
“Is he straight?” Cadman asked. “I’ve looked at his ass. I’d tap that.”
“He didn’t say.”
“Well, ask,” Toriel insisted.
The next week, at Truth or Dare, Dorsey returned with more to report. “He says he’s pan.”
Dr. Maxwell perked up. “Really?” She was trans.
“Is he coming to hang out with us or not?” Crown asked.
“Don’t think so. He keeps himself to himself.” Dorsey shrugged.
“Well, that’s fine,” John said. “The whole point of Atlantis is that anything goes, because tomorrow we might get eaten by Wraith.”
“Hear, hear!” Zelenka cried, and raised a little beaker full of homemade vodka.
Everyone drank.
But John was curious, and he didn’t want Lorne feeling pressured, so he caught the guy alone, when Lorne was bringing him requisition forms to sign.
“Look, Lorne, if you don’t want to join in with us, it’s fine. Really. What you do with your body is your business. But if you’re - wanting to learn, Kusanagi’s great at shibari, and Ambrose is a trained dom, and Biro apparently minored in sexology. Didn’t even realize that was a thing.”
Lorne said, “Thanks, sir. I appreciate it. I’m just not that into sex.”
“Oh?”
“I prefer kissing.”
John stared at him. “Just kissing?”
Lorne nodded.
“Any particular reason?”
“Well, I come just from kissing, so, sex just kinda never happens.”
John stared at him. Then, before he realized what he was doing, he said, “Can I kiss you?”
Lorne said, “I thought you’d never ask.”
John reached out, reeled him in, leaned in for a kiss, and - oh. No wonder Lorne liked kissing. Kissing him was like fucking, bodies rocking together, hands roaming, tongues twining. John slid his hands down, grabbed Lorne’s ass, yanked their hips together, and he felt it - Lorne was hard against his thigh.
John kept kissing him, tasting his mouth, nibbling at his lips, and then he felt Lorne go rigid against him, his grip on John’s arms bruising, and he was coming. John held him tightly, felt him trembling through the aftershocks.
When it was done, Lorne pulled back, wincing a little bit at his messy uniform, but he smiled at John. “See?”
John was incredibly turned on, still hard. “Yeah, I see. Just - whoa. That’s intense. What happens if I kiss you again?”
“I’ll come again.”
“Really?”
Lorne nodded.
“Is there some kind of...limit?”
“You’d think there would be, wouldn’t you?” Lorne stepped back. “Gotta go clean up. Later, sir.”
And he was gone.
John dragged him to the next game of Spin the Bottle.
“This is going to get incredibly messy,” Lorne protested. “That’s why I prefer to be naked and in a bed when kissing is going on.”
Chuck, bless his pervy little heart, had arranged for a mattress in the common room where they played.
“Oh,” Lorne said, and immediately peeled out of his uniform. He went and sat on the mattress, cross-legged, like everyone else in the circle. Zelenka handed him a box of tissue.
Rodney rubbed his hands together gleefully, set an empty bottle sideways on the floor. “All right, who spins first?”
Cadman, grinning at Lorne, said, “Me.”
Lorne wasn’t kidding. His body really had no limit. But kissing him and watching him come was definitely fun.
It was Ronon who thought to ask, “Can you actually have sex?”
Lorne lay back. “Climb on top and find out.”
Re: Fill: Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock Holmes
Date: 2018-05-07 06:41 pm (UTC)Re: Fill 2/2 (sooooo NSFW)
Date: 2018-05-07 06:44 pm (UTC)I love that Atlantis is a big free love commune! Everyone getting naked with everyone else! Spin the effing bottle! OMGosh, I love this! Everyone so curious about Lorne, and the speed with which he's like, "Oh, okay" and takes off his clothes.
If the city's rockin', don't come knockin'! Bwa ha ha! I love it, thank you!!
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Date: 2018-05-07 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-07 08:06 pm (UTC)