Bite Sized Bits of Fic

Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Rodney always seems to miss the most obvious facts

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Rodney always seemed to miss the most obvious facts, like the fact that the two incredibly good-looking men in flight attendant uniforms were obviously not real flight attendants. The taller of the two, Ronon, had thick dreadlocks, a goatee, and a hint of a tattoo peeking up over his collar. He didn’t smile much, and when he did smile, it was the kind of smile a wolf might wear before it tore into an innocent lamb. He didn’t talk much either, mostly communicated in nods, shrugs, and the occasional grunt.

The shorter of the two, whose name tag read John, had wildly messy-spiky black hair that would have looked stupid on anyone else but somehow looked incredibly stylish on him, like he’d spent hours in front of the mirror gelling each spike into place just so. He had bright hazel-green-gold-gray eyes, a smirky smile, and looked incredibly long-suffering while he did the safety demonstration, clipping and unclipping the seatbelt, showing people how the oxygen masks worked, and holding up the safety information card.

Rodney was torn between hyperventilating in panic (because he hated flying and not being on solid ground where he had some modicum of control over his body and where it was going) and finding some way to hit on John (because when he was demonstrating how the life jackets could receive additional inflation by blowing into the little red tubes on the sides, well, Rodney had dirty thoughts).

Because John’s mouth was gorgeous.

Rodney let himself think John and Ronon were real flight attendants because the stereotype was that male flight attendants were gay and then Rodney might actually have a chance with very hot, very charming John, who doled out little snack packs and miniature bottles of water with unsubtle sarcasm in his smile.

Maybe Rodney latched onto how attractive John was because having casual fantasies about necking with him behind the flight attendant curtain was much more fun than imagining his horrible demise by plane crash or plane explosion or some other plane malfunction. When Captain Evan Lorne welcomed them aboard, Rodney thought the man had a nice, pleasant voice, which probably meant he was some kind of slack-jawed people-pleaser who’d brown-nosed his way through flight school, and they were all doomed to die. And then Captain Lorne explained they were experiencing a slight technical delay, techs were working on it, but hopefully it wouldn’t put them too far behind schedule.

“We’ll be flying with a tailwind today, so if we get this sorted out in the next few minutes, we should still make our destination on time, especially for you folks with connecting flights,” he said.

There was a pause, another crackle of static, and then a woman - presumably First Officer Teyla Emmagan - spoke. “It looks like the issue will be resolved soon. Once we have...uploaded our flight plans and...things, we will be ready for take off.”

Ronon raised his eyebrows.

John looked ready to bury his face in his hands when First Officer Emmagan said flight plans and things.

Then the engines started to roar, and the plane started to taxi. Rodney watched out the window. He understood the physics of flight better than everyone else on the plane, even the pilots, but that didn’t help him feel better when the engines sped up, whining higher and louder, and then the plane sped up, wheels rumbling on the tarmac. Then there was that bizarre feeling of both weightlessness and heaviness from G-forces on acceleration, and they were airborne.

Rodney tried to read one of the science journals he’d brought along, and he tried to listen to some Rachmaninoff, and finally he settled on watching John and Ronon as they moved through the cabin, John distributing snacks and drinks and Ronon following along with a garbage bag to accept wrappers and empty bottles and cups.

John and Ronon both stumbled, wide-eyed and startled, when the plane dipped suddenly.

More than one person cried out.

A little child started to cry.

Rodney was too terrified to make a sound.

“Apologies, folks,” Captain Lorne said, still stupidly pleasant-voiced. “Bit of unexpected turbulence there.”

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The plane dipped again, almost knocking Ronon off his feet, and Rodney let out an involuntary whimper.

John was crouched in front of him in an instant. “Hey, sir, it’s going to be all right, I promise.”

Rodney dared to peek at John when all he wanted to do was crawl under his chair and curl up in a tiny ball. John was eye-level with him, looking right at him, with an assurance and a confidence that went beyond attempts at comfort. He looked - knowing. Sure. Like he was making a promise.

Rodney noticed the lean muscles in his forearms, and when John put a hand on his, he noticed rough calluses. John wasn’t slender and soft, like most flight attendants.

But Rodney was too focused on his own fear and attempting to assuage his own fears by focusing on how hot John was to really pay attention to the things his brain was taking in, processing, and synthesizing.

Neither John nor Ronon were real flight attendants. First Officer Emmagan was probably not a real pilot.

The plane plummeted downward with a stomach-turning swoop.

There were more cries of alarm.

A man with a ponytail and glasses askew lurched out of his seat. He was waving some kind of datapad like a madman.

“I have control of this airplane! It will crash and kill everyone in it unless the United States Government meets my demands!”

Someone screamed.

Ronon lunged, tackled the Ponytail Madman to the ground. John lunged, snatched the datapad out of his hands.

“Radek!” John shouted.

Rodney straightened up, startled. Radek - as in, Radek Zelenka? Who’d worked with Rodney on that bizarre theoretical wormhole project for the Air Force way back when?

It was Radek Zelenka. He stumbled out of his seat and snatched the datapad from John.

“Can you take control of the plane back?” John asked.

Radek nodded. “Yes, yes, just give me a moment.”

Rodney was out of his seat and stumbling into the aisle. “Give that to me.”

Radek looked up, surprised. “What? Rodney?”

“I’ll be faster,” Rodney said.

John said, all business and no charm, “Sir, stand down. We have this situation under control.”

The plane swooped downward again.

Gas masks spilled down from the ceiling.

“Back in your seat, sir,” John said. “Ronon, mask up, grab a mask for Radek. Radek - get me control of this plane back.”

Rodney started to protest, but John manhandled him back into his seat. He strapped the mask over Rodney’s nose and mouth before Rodney could protest.

“Stay here. Rodney, is it?”

Rodney could only nod, wide-eyed and startled at John’s hands - warm, strong, confident - on him.

“You need this mask. I promise, we have this situation under control.”

The cockpit door burst open, and a pretty woman in an ill-fitting pilot uniform burst into the cabin, pounced on the Ponytail Madman while Ronon found some kind of mobile oxygen system for Radek.

What followed was a lot of the Ponytail Madman struggling and yelling till John and not-really-First Officer Emmagan tied him up and gagged him while Radek tapped desperately at the datapad and Ronon helped Captain Lorne get a gas mask on.

When all was said and done, the plane was stable, the Ponytail Madman was subdued, and everything was going to be all right.

Or so Captain Lorne said, still with his stupidly pleasant voice.

“We’re still on schedule to reach our destination,” he said. “In the meantime, I think Colonel Sheppard has some more snacks and beverages to make the flight more pleasant.”

Colonel Sheppard? Rodney wondered.

John poked his head into the cockpit. “What more snacks are you talking about?”

“Homemade chocolate biscotti. Just in case. Citrus free,” Captain Lorne said.

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Ronon perked up. “Chocolate?”

Rodney was immediately suspicious. Citrus free?

John looked both exasperated and amused. “You - you made homemade biscotti for an undercover mission?”

“I figured it’d be stressful, sir,” Captain Lorne said. “People might need some cheering up in the aftermath.”

“Of course you did.” John - Colonel Sheppard - looked torn between laughter and severe disapproval.

Ronon rummaged in the galley and came up with a container of homemade biscotti, which he distributed among the passengers.

“Colonel?” Captain Lorne asked. “You want to take the stick? Major Cartwright wanted me to do the NDA portion.”

John, who’d been checking on the prisoner at the rear of the plane, straightened up. “Yeah, Major. Thanks.” He started toward the cockpit.

Rodney reached out, caught his wrist. “You - you’re not really a flight attendant.”

“Ah - no. I’m not. Sorry for the deception. It was necessary to catch a domestic terrorist.”

“I knew that,” Rodney said. “I mean - it’s obvious. I was just - distracted. By how hot you are. But of course you’re not really a flight attendant so you’re probably not gay, so -”

Rodney snatched his hand back. Obviously this Colonel Sheppard character and his team were military personnel - maybe not Ronon, with those dreadlocks - and America’s military had that stupid rule.

Not-really-Captain Lorne said, “Sir?”

“Change of plans, Lorne,” John said. “Keep the stick. I’m pretty sure I can do some fast-talking and lawyering of my own.”

Major Lorne said, very amused, “Yes, sir.”

John reached out, curled his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “We’ll talk once my job is done,” he said. Then he straightened up and boomed out in a definitely military-sounding voice, “All right, folks, listen up!”

Rodney hoped they did, that this whole process went fast, because he was pretty sure that after this he had a date.

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Yes yes yes, good good good. Was the terrorist Kavanagh though? I bet it was Kavanagh. If he had a ponytail.

Also, I'm lol'ing at everyone's cameos, especially Teyla's. I love Teyla. And also Evan made biscotti because OF COURSE HE DID BECAUSE EVAN LORNE EVERYONE. Yeah. This is fab.

Great fill! Thank yooooou! :)

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You are so welcome! Yes. Kavanagh was of course the terrorist. So easy to dislike that guy.

...When we were on the plane yesterday for the final leg of the journey, that was literally what the guy in the cockpit said.

"Once we're done uploading our flight plans...and things...we should be set to go."

...It was not inspiring of much confidence in his piloting skills.

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I LOVE THIS!! Lorne being his pleasant self throughout, and of course making some comfort food for after. ::grins::

Of course the best part is Rodney being so terrified and still trying to help because even in this AU he thinks he's smarter and faster than poor Radek. LOL!

This is so much fun!

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Thank you!

Of course Rodney would try to help. From early on in the series he's incredibly brave even if he doesn't like it, and I figured that was something in him that pre-dated canon.

Evan Lorne. Is so extra.

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Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." (Aldous Huxley)

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BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock faces the fact that he's actually fallen in love with John Watson

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Any, any m/m,

It's feels like three million years
And we can't change the fact
That we're just two different souls
That happened to attract
Cause every time that we kiss
It gets better than the last yeah
(Amber Liu - Three Million Years)

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Any, any, "You can spend your whole life building a wall of facts between you and anything real." (Chuck Palahniuk)

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Do the Walls Come Down (https://archiveofourown.org/works/14892350)

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I love how you interpreted this prompt, and it's such a heart-warming story for Pride Month! Love it!

Thank you for a terrific fill, lovely! <3

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I'm pleased you like it, thank you!

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Stargate Atlantis, Rodney McKay, "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." (Albert Einstein)

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Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Impossible is not a fact, it's an opinion.

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Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, time to face the facts

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Any, Any m/m, Denying the truth doesn't change the facts.

Edited Date: 2018-06-06 04:53 pm (UTC)

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“Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts,” Danny said.

Steve stared at him. “I’m not - I’m denying the truth. I’m not in love with Evan. I’m not even dating Evan. We’re just friends.”

“You hated the guy when you thought he was dating Mary, you ran a bunch of background checks on him, and now you’re ‘just friends’.” Danny stared up at Steve, thoroughly skeptical. “You spend all your free time together -”

“Babysitting Joanie.”

“And you take long walks on the beach -”

“We’re just talking.”

“I’m not homophobic,” Danny said. “I’m very supportive of what you and Evan have. He seems like a nice guy. I’ve said so from day one. Just - don’t lie to me.”

Steve threw his hands up. “I’m not lying! We’re not dating, we’re not together, we’re just friends.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at each other, talk to each other, how you lean in close and lower your voices and shut out the rest of the world.” Danny cut himself off, shook his head.

And Steve realized. Danny was hurt.

“No,” Steve said. “I’m not trying to shut you out. It’s just that - Evan understands some things about me that no one else does.”

“Because he was in the military and did super classified stuff? You and I do crazy classified stuff together. Like - Korea.”

Steve took a deep breath. “Because we’re both greenlit.”

Danny frowned. “What? What does that mean?” Then his eyes went wide. “Are you being called back up? Is that what all those secret talks are about?”

“No, it’s completely unrelated to the military.” Steve took another deep breath. “It means both of us have black soulmarks.”

Danny went pale. “You’re soulmates?”

“No. Not with each other. Being greenlit is - you know how when someone’s soulmate dies, their soulmark is ringed with red? For the broken bond.”

Danny nodded warily.

“When someone has a soulmark ringed with green, it’s called being greenlit.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you have a soulmark, but the person you’re marked for isn’t marked for you in return.”

Danny looked confused.

“Evan’s soulmate had a soulmate of his own. He served alongside the two of them for a couple of years, and it was - torture. Every day.” Steve wasn’t going to say much more about Evan’s life, because it was his business.

Danny’s expression turned sympathetic. “Oh. That - that sounds horrible.” He didn’t have any soulmarked in his family, probably bought in to a lot of the stupid Hollywood stereotypes about the soulmarked. “It’s nice of you, to listen to him about...that.”

And then Danny narrowed his eyes. “You’re greenlit too, then. Who’s your soulmate?”

Steve swallowed hard. “It’s - it’s you.”

Danny fell back a step. “What?”

Steve scrubbed his palm against the top of his thigh where his mark was. “You’re my soulmate.”

“But -”

“I know. Rachel. And Amber. And all the women before and between and after.”

“But I don’t have any soulmarks at all.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. That’s why mine’s greenlit. You’re my soulmate, but I’m not yours.”

“So - all those times I called you babe and told you I love you -”

Each of those was a simultaneous rush of joy and stab to the gut. Steve shrugged, going for casual and cool but probably getting tense and anxious instead.

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“Why didn’t you say anything?” Danny asked.

“Like I said, I’m not your soulmate.”

“But I’m yours.” Danny looked shocked and a little dazed. “How does that work?”

“Evan says it’s an evolutionary thing, so someone who has love can find love again after their first love ends, for whatever reason. People who are greenlit aren’t supposed to meet their soulmate till after the previous relationship dissolves, but with modern travel technology -” Steve shrugged again.

Danny stared at him. “When you met me, I’d just divorced Rachel.”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t understand what it meant at the time. No one really knows about being greenlit. Evan only knows because he was kind of the Air Force’s guinea pig for the whole thing. His being greenlit affected his combat readiness, so he was monitored really closely for bond strain and bond starvation and whatnot.”

“Bond starvation,” Danny echoed. “Have you been bond starving this entire time?”

“Evan helped set me up with the Air Force’s med program so we don’t feel the effects of bond strain.”

“So you have to be on drugs so you’re not miserable when I’m not around.” Danny sounded appalled.

Steve shrugged. “It’s like being diabetic. Take your meds every day, you’re fine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me once you figured out what it meant?”

“You’ve always been with someone. Not my place to intrude on your happiness.”

Danny threw his hands up. “Your inability to talk about your feelings is unbelievable. Steve, you make me happy.”

“I’m not your girlfriend.”

“I wouldn’t want you as my girlfriend.”

That stung, even through the med-dampened bond.

“I’d want you as my boyfriend. Lover. Whatever you want to call it.”

Steve felt the bond between them surge, like there were no meds at all. And he could sense that Danny was happy. Glad. Loved him.

“Babe, get over here and kiss me,” Danny said.

Steve obeyed, and it felt like being whole again.

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Oh, man. I was super worried there for a minute. Poor Steve. At least he had Evan to help him out and explain things. I'm glad Danny didn't waste any time once he knew what the situation was. Whew!!

Although now I'm kind of sad for Poor Evan, who can't get that same outcome. FEELINGS!! Gah!

Thank you so much!

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You are so welcome! You wanted McDanno, I delivered McDanno :)

Also as much as I want some kind of magically happy ending for Evan, I kind of don't think it's meant to be. A reader once suggested a crossover ship, like with Colby Granger from Numb3rs, or that maybe he and John meet up years down the road, both of them surfing casually.

Not sure yet.

We shall see.

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BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, there has to be room for emotion amongst the facts

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Justice Leage (2017), Barry Allen/Arthur Curry, Fact Fiction (Mads Langer)

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daria234.livejournal.com

Arrowverse, any/any, one believes in a rigid moral code and the other believes that morality has to adapt to reality

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daria234.livejournal.com

MCU or Arrowverse or Agents of SHIELD, any/any, they can always tell when ____ is lying

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daria234.livejournal.com

SGA, John/Ronon, Ronon hears many incorrect facts about Earth culture, which frustrates John

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profshallowness.livejournal.com

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger & Luna Lovegood, the fact is...

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Friends, Rachel Green/Joey Tribbiani,
But it’s time to face the truth
I will never be with you
(James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”)

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Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams,
Danny: No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, Steve and I are not together. No. No.
Steve: Really? Sixteen no's? Really?
(How I Met Your Mother, via (http://incorrecthawaii5-0quotes.tumblr.com/post/143517468896/lou-so-how-long-have-you-and-steve-been-together))

Edited Date: 2018-06-06 07:41 pm (UTC)

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Angel the series, Angel/Cordelia Chase + Lorne, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

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Any, past any/any,
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you
(Ed Sheeran, “Happier”)

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