Bite Sized Bits of Fic

The Burning Zone, Dr. Edward Marcase, immune to love

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The Wild Wild West, James West/Artemis Gordon, A game of cat and mouse.

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Dark Angel, any, the Trabsgenics post "Freak Nation"

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Person of Interest, Harold Finch/John Reese, honeymooning in Rome

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White Collar, Peter Burke/Neal Caffrey (/Elizabeth Burke), "Please tell me this birthday present isn't stolen"

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Krypton, Kem/Adam Strange, strange customs

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Psych, Carlton Lassiter/Ed Dixon, autumn in the woods

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NCIS, Clayton Reeves/Nick Torres, undercover

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The Adventures of Brisco County Jr/Legend, Brisco County + Ernest Pratt, one legend to another

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Stargate Multiverse, Any, sometimes passing through a wormhole leads to unexpected abilities when they come out on the other side

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Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, feeling blue

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“Remind me to kill this son of a bitch if we ever catch him,” Danny grumbles into his radio. “I’m over this.” The Task Force is trying to capture a killer who’s been targeting uniformed personnel in and around the International Marketplace, which means they’re all undercover in one type of uniform or other.

Of course, Steve is dashing in his Naval regalia. Kono looks like an exceptionally perky flight attendant. Chin Ho has on dusty khaki fatigues. Grover…well, okay, Danny allows. He may have gotten stuck ‘playing’ an HPD patrolman, but that’s still better than impersonating a Boy Scout Troop Leader on his way to a meeting.

Grover apparently had the uniform in the back of his closet for a while--he must have lost weight since he wore it last, because it makes him look like a melted tan marshmallow. How long ago had Will been the right age to be a scout? Danny has no clue.

Whoever decided navy blue twill uniforms were a good idea in the tropics in August should be shot. Another couple hours of this and he’s liable to stand in the middle of the marketplace and beg the guy to walk up and shoot him, just to put him out of his misery. Of course, with his luck, that’s when the unsub would go for a head-shot from twenty yards out instead of walking up to him and popping him at point-blank range like he did to the first four victims.

“Excuse me, Ossifer.” It’s Steve, holding a Honolulu map upside-down and swaying slightly. In a lower tone, he holds the map in front of them and says in a lower tone, “Act like you’re giving me directions to the Pearl Harbor memorial.”

So Danny obligingly points in the correct direction, then freezes as Steve’s hand--the one not on the map, obviously--comes to rest against his crotch. “What are you doing?” he asks under his breath.

“It’s a show of solidarity,” Steve replies solemnly. “You sounded like you were feeling blue, so I thought I would feel blue, too….”

“Get a room, you two!” Kono chuckles on their frequency. Danny blushes.

“Have you heard the one--” Chin Ho is saying, when there’s an unholy BANG over the com.

“No you don’t, you bastard!” Grover bellows. “You think you can wantonly assault a member of the Boy Scouts of America? No! You! Can’t!”

They follow the sound of his stentorian bellows to the spot where a man in what later proves to be a maintenance uniform is face-down on the pavement, hands already cuffed, gun laying where it fell. “Look at that!” Grover says indignantly when they converge on him. “Man put a hole in my uniform….”

The size of the hole in the uniform is horrifying--nobody except the would-be killer wants to think about how big the hole in Grover would’ve been if he hadn’t been wearing a vest under it.

They drag the guy back to HQ. “Good collar,” Steve compliments Grover once they’ve all gotten back into normal clothes. “The perp must’ve figured you were the least likely person to be wearing a vest. Who’s going to suspect a scout leader?”

“Yeah,” snarks Danny, “but I’m kind of disappointed you just handcuffed him. I mean, aren’t you supposed to have a merit badge in knot-tying and all that?”

Grover eyes him, then says, “Knots? That would be applicable under fly-fishing or sailing. There is no badge just for knot-tying. Oh, but you might want to look into Orienteering.”

“What the frack is that?” Danny demands.

“How to read a map.”

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Excuse me while I sit and cackle. LOL! Oh, so funny! Grover in a Scout uniform is the best! I love how angry he was at being assaulted! Meanwhile Danny was getting assaulted in an entirely different way. Bwa ha ha! And Grover's snappy comeback to the knot-tying thing was the best!

Bless you for this.

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Maybe my bias is showing--I've been fond of Chi McBride ever since he was in Boston Public a million years ago or so. He's one of those guys who might be a teddy bear or intimidating as hell, depending on the situation. Hint: Don't mess with the uniform!

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He was awesome! You don't mess with Scouts, for sure! LOL!

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Death in Paradise, Harry the lizard, reflecting on his past "housemates"

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