Friday Crack day!

[untldeathtakeme.livejournal.com]

Happy Friday everyone (with a drink to anyone who works part of the weekend like me). I'm untldeathtakeme and have been your happy host this past week. Thank you all for the amazing prompts and fills, I haven't had chance to read them but will shortly. I'd like to go out with some fun, so today's theme is Crack, pure and simple. Crack situations, crack pairings, characters turned into ponies, whatever! Let's go nuts!

Just a few rules:
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
Use the character's full names and fandom's full name for ease adding to the Lonely Prompts spreadsheet.
No spoilers in prompts for a month after airing, or use the spoiler cut option found here.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space, or use the spoiler cut.
If there are possible triggers in your story, please warn for them in the subject line!

Prompts should be formatted as follows: [Use the character's full names and fandom's full name]
Fandom, Character +/ Character, Prompt

Some examples to get the ball rolling...

+Marvel Cinematic Universe, Goose+Thanos (or the ensemble watching this) ,Goose vs Thanos

+ Any, Any+/Any, (any situation that ends with) someone (preferably the serious/stiff/moody type) driving a hot pink stretch Hummer limousine

+ Marvel Cinematic Universe, Loki Laufeyson+/Any, Loki somehow gets high

We use AO3 to bookmark filled prompts. If you fill a prompt and post it to AO3 please add it to the Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2019 collection. See further notes on this new option here.

Not feeling any of today’s prompts? Check out Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 1 (not very current), Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 2, or the Calendar Archives, or for more recent prompts, you can use LJ's advanced search options to find prompts to request and/or fill.

While the Lonely Prompts Spreadsheets and LJ's advanced search options are available, bookmarking the links of prompts you like might work better for searching for in the future.


tag=crack

Comments

[cozy-coffee.livejournal.com]

Venom, venom gets trapped in the body of a hedgehog

Fill -- Getting Back to Eddie

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18973411

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Any ensemble, they're all competing show dogs

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne, Robot!Lorne

[untldeathtakeme.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Goose++Thanos. (or the ensemble watching this), Goose vs. Thanos

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Sherlock/Stargate Atlantis, Sherlock Holmes/John Sheppard, Sherlock finds out Sheppard is kind of a genius and OH BOY it's a turn-on

Fill

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

John Sheppard had many faults – Sherlock was keeping a mental tally – among them being an American, his disdain for tea, and his insistence upon listening to Johnny Cash music at all hours of the night. He was a distraction from the important work that Sherlock was trying to do.

“Is that necessary?” Sherlock snapped. John had joined him in the sitting room but brought his guitar, plucking away at the strings without much finesse.

“Do I complain when you play your violin?” John asked without looking up.

“You do.”

John shrugged. “Well, there you go.”

Honestly, Sherlock didn’t know what he’d been thinking when he’d agreed to take John on as a flatmate. He didn’t care about John’s military service, or why he would choose to recover from his injuries in London, and Sherlock likewise had no interest in looking more closely at the reasons why he wouldn’t want to unravel the mystery that was living in his flat.

Sherlock turned his attention back to the slip of paper he’d found at the hideout of a suspected assassin. He was certain it was a clue, but the mathematical equations scrawled across it meant nothing to him. And it galled, because he was a genius. He could see things no-one else could see, yet he’d only been able to solve two of the equations.

“I’m off to university,” he announced, standing and making for the stairs. “Do try not to –”

John snatched the paper out of Sherlock’s hand and gave it a quick once-over. “What’s this for?”

Sherlock snatched it back. “It’s for a case. I won’t bore you with it.”

“Suit yourself,” John replied, back to running his fingers over the guitar strings. “Looks like a bank account number, if I were making guesses.”

“I’m not in the business of guessing,” Sherlock said snappishly. He looked at the paper again. “You can read this?”

“It’s just math. If you solve the equations, you get a seventeen-digit number. Those two random letters? Could be a Swiss account. I’ve seen those before.”

It wasn’t often that Sherlock was at a loss, but in that moment he literally didn’t know what to say. John had solved the maths at a glance and possibly given Sherlock a lead. All of a sudden the case of the assassin ceased to hold his interest. Clearly there was more to John than met the eye and Sherlock was finally ready to dig deeper.

“Well, let’s go,” he said.

John looked up at him. “Where?”

“Scotland Yard. There’s a very slim chance you may have provided a break in the case.”

“Cool.” John set aside his guitar and stood up, stretching as he did so.

Sherlock thought it was possible he’d had some underlying physical attraction to John from the start. He was certainly noticing the man’s superficial attributes now – and they were many – and wondering how he’d handle a snog. Perhaps that was why he’d so readily agreed to having John as a flatmate.

Without another word, Sherlock pulled on his long coat and hit the stairs down to the street entrance of 221B. He’d see how John handled working a case with him, and gather more data points before he came to a decision about how he’d proceed.

Which didn’t mean he couldn’t objectively appreciate the shape and movement of John’s arse as they walked down Baker Street together.

[untldeathtakeme.livejournal.com]

Any, Any+/Any, (any situation that ends with) someone (preferably the serious/stiff/moody type) driving a hot pink stretch Hummer limousine

Not a Fill (yet)

[asphaltcowgrrl.livejournal.com]

...right up to the Graceland Chapel to get married by Elvis.

(Inspired by the stretch pink Hummer limo I saw when my friend got married... at the Graceland Chapel... by Elvis.)

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, Any, de-aged teens take over Atlantis

[untldeathtakeme.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Loki Laufeyson+/Any, Loki somehow gets high

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Any, Any, character wakes up one morning only able to speak in catch phrases

Fill -- MCU, Clint Barton "Low Points and High Notes"

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Before he even opens his eyes, Clint rubs his forehead, which aches abominably. He isn’t hungover; he knows what that feels like…this is more like his skull is too tight for his brains.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” Phil has been sitting in a chair in the corner of the room--Clint recognizes the helicarrier’s sick bay--now he sets aside his tablet and presses the Call button. “You had a helluva whack on the noggin. How are you feeling?”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” he warbles, then stops, confused. Wasn’t that from an orange juice commercial or something?

“Um, Clint?” Phil looks concerned. “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re my best friend--” Clint sings. Which isn’t a bad answer, but he isn’t sure why he’s singing at all, since it only adds to his headache.

There’s movement at the door as the doctor enters. Clint recognizes her, too--Dr. Potter. Porter? Something like that. “She’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood!” he greets her. Oh boy.

“Not today,” she says, approaching the bed. “Let’s get a look at you--” She produces a penlight and flashes it in his eyes.

“Blinded by the light--” he complains. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band knows what it’s talking about..

“He’s singing,” Phil says, sounding as anxious as he looks. “Just singing.”

Clint tries to reassure him, since aside from the headache, he doesn’t feel that bad.”Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, mama--!”

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Dr Porter asks (She’s close enough that he can see her nametag: Sydney Porter, M.D.).

“One is the loneliest number--”

“And now?”

“Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one--”

“Do you know where you are?”

“Up, up and away, in a beautiful balloon!” Oops, definitely not the right answer. “Leaving on a jet plane--” This is only getting worse. “Ground control to Major Tom,” he chants gloomily.

“Can you tell me who the President is?”

“Oh, the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact--”

“He seems to be perfectly rational,” Porter says to Phil with a dimple in her cheek. “Believe it or not. It’s a rare condition that sometimes manifests after a head injury...it's called melodic aphasia. Aphasia is when the brain has difficulty accessing vocabulary in the usual way. Melodic aphasia occurs when the brain retrieves analogous lyrics to fit the circumstances.”

“Is that going to be permanent?” Phil asks, which Clint wants to know, too.

“It should clear up in a few days. Meanwhile, lay off the booze--and maybe go do some karaoke.”

…

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, any, somebody gets zapped into a computer

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

DC Extended Universe, Barry Allen +/ any, Barry is secretly a Kpop star

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, "Honey, we shrunk the scientist."

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes + John Watson, Kitten!Watson

Fill: drabble

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

“Mrs Hudson!”

“What is it, dear?”

“It scratched me!”

“What did?”

“The kitten.”

“John may have a point. It’s your fault he’s turned into a kitten; I don’t suppose he’s very happy about it.”

Mrs Hudson bent down and picked up the little kitten, tickling it under the chin as she did so. The kitten purred. Sherlock reached across to grab the kitten by the scruff of its neck. The kitten twisted its head round and fastened its teeth on his finger.

“Ow!”

“Why don’t you look for a way to reverse the change, while I take care of him.”

[squidgiepdx]

Stargate Atlantis, Any/Any, "That's a fucking unicorn!"

Fill: Elizabeth & Teyla

[raktajinos.livejournal.com]

She heard Elizabeth gasp, and then felt a hand wrap around her forearm, the fabric of the sleeve bunching under Elizabeth's fingers.

Teyla paused and hunched down into the tall grass instinctively, eyes sharply surveying the fields in front of them for whatever could have alerted Elizabeth. She continued to scan, attempting to follow Elizabeth's eyeline, only to see nothing.

She would be surprised if there was anything dangerous on this particular continent; she knew this planet well, untouched by the Wraith and guarded by a coven. It's status as a pacifist space was so universally known that peace conferences and negotiation meetings were held here.

"What do you see, Elizabeth?" she whispered

"That!" Elizabeth pointed, her eyes not moving from where they were locked on.

Teyla followed her gaze and finger, the line pointing about a fifty metres in front of them, where the woods met the field. She focused on what was in front of her, trying to see from Elizabeth's point-of-view, an alien point of view unfamiliar with this landscape.

There were some differently coloured trees and flowers, but nothing that Elizabeth hadn't seen on any number of planets; a cuRonni, which was much like a horse; and a flock of dihalogs, which were oddly oversized birds, but quite fat and adorable looking.

"Those are dihalogs, they're herbivores and are often kept as pets. They won't hurt you," Teyla said, guessing Elizabeth meant the rotund animals.

"Not them, though they are very cute," Elizabeth said, "I meant the unicorn,"

Teyla looked back at the animals, "oh, that's a cuRonni, they are native to this planet".

Elizabeth looked at her incredulously, "how can you be so nonchalant about this, it's a fucking unicorn!" She flailed her arms in the general direction of the beast, her voice getting higher pitched.

Teyla glanced at the cuRonni and then back at Elizabeth, "yes, though I do not understand why you are so .. exuberant about this. I have seen your historical and popular culture, cu - unicorns are native to Earth as well,"

"Oh! No, they're a myth, they're not real. They're an animal of legend, something children fantasize about. I used to have dozens of little ceramic unicorn statutes in my room as a child. I was obsessed." Elizabeth explained, "though now I'm wondering if maybe they weren't totally a myth,"

"It stands to reason that a cuRonni made its way through the Gate by accident or was brought along by a traveller in Earth's past," Teyla hypothesized

Elizabeth nodded, her gaze locked on the animal, her face alight.

"Would you like to meet it?" Teyla asked, smiling at the wonder on the face of her friend.

Elizabeth snapped her gaze to Teyla, eyes wide, "seriously? Like I could pet the unicorn?"

"yes, Elizabeth, you can pet the unicorn. They're quite friendly."

[squidgiepdx]

Letterkenny, The hicks + Any, Legitimate crop circle shows up on the farm

Fill

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

“Degens,” Dan said definitively. “No doubts in my mind.”

Wayne stared at his ruined corn, barely knee-high because it was still early in the season, and felt the dull flush of rage moving over him. “Hockey fucks,” he said through a clenched jaw.

“Reilly and Jonesy aren’t that stupid,” Katy disagreed. “I mean, yeah. They’re idiots. But they know better than to mess with the crops. Tanis’ boys too.”

Daryl humphed. “I think we’re all overlooking the obvious, here.”

“Enlightens us,” Dan said, hands wrapped around the straps of his overalls like he thought they might up and run away on him.

“It’s a circle. In a crop. Do I really have to lay it out for you?”

“Don’t say aliens,” Wayne growled, arms crossed tightly and fists tucked up into his armpits.

“It’s obviously aliens.”

“Nothing obvious about aliens, big shoots,” Katy said.

“It’s not aliens,” Wayne insisted, trying to think about ways they could recoup the loss of the corn. “Degens, probably, like Squirrelly Dan said. Or skids.”

Daryl put his hands on his hips. “Why not aliens? This is exactly the kind of thing they do!”

“You ever seen an alien?” Katy asked.

“Well, no. Not that I recall. But they can zap your memories clean away with that light flashing thing.”

Dan shook his head. “You’re thinking of Mens in Black. Will Smiths and Tommy Lee Jones.”

“Based on a true story, though.”

Wayne let out a breath, amusement cutting through the rage just a little. “Check your sources, bud.”

“Anyway,” Katy said, “what would aliens want in Letterkenny? Nothin’ here but hicks, skids, hockey players, and the Rez.”

“Maybe they wants to studies us,” Dan said. “That’s how they learns.”

“You mean like…like probes?” Daryl asked in a hushed tone, looking horrified.

Katy snorted. “Like you’re unfamiliar with an anal probe.”

“Can confirm,” Wayne said, cutting a side-eye glance at Daryl. Daryl blushed.

“Well, if aliens ain’t real what’s that then?” he asked, pointing up.

Something was coming down out of the sky, and at first Wayne thought it was one of those drone things, but then it got closer and bigger and just kind of hovered over them for a long minute before a bald, green-skinned alien stuck its head out.

“How are ya now?” it asked in a comically high-pitched voice.

“Good. ‘N you?” Wayne asked in return.

“Not so bad. Sorry for the mess.”

“You’re sorry, but I’m out all this corn.”

“Wayne,” Dan said in a stage whisper, “I thinks that alien just flipped you off.”

It sure looked that way, and just like that the rage was back. “Uncalled for!”

“Earth people suck!” the alien shouted. There was a lot of hooting and hollering from inside their spaceship.

Wayne picked up a rock and winged it, putting a dent in the side of the ship. “Sort yourself out!”

The spaceship zipped off, leaving the four of them standing there by the crop circle.

“Well, I was right,” Dan said.

“How so?” Daryl asked.

“Degens. From ways up country.”

Wayne nodded. “That’s a Texas-sized 10-4.”

[squidgiepdx]

Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Having to postpone their first date because of an alien invasion.

[squidgiepdx]

Any, Any +or/ Any, Breaking the fourth wall

[squidgiepdx]

Any, Any +or/ Any, Catching a muppet serial killer

Fill: Drabble: Person of Interest, Finch + Reese

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

“Have you made any sense of those numbers, Finch?”

“Yes, finally. They appear to translate into musical notation. So if I use the software we should know what the music is and we may be closer to finding our serial killer, Mr Reese.”

“Play it!”

It’s time to play the music
It’s time to light the lights

Reese’s expression was one of horror. “But that means”

“You were right. You did see something green and frog-like running from the scene.”

“And there was a pig in a tutu!”

“Which of us is telling Fusco his serial killer is a muppet?”

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Hawaii 5-O, any/all, a human sacrifice to the volcano goddess

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

MCU, any, stuck in a Groundhog Day-type situation where they have to keep saving the world

[with-rainfall.livejournal.com]

Any, any & any (gen), tentacle monsters

[with-rainfall.livejournal.com]

BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes & or/John Watson, zombies

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

The walking dead /suicide squad, goodnight (bat) /Lucille the bat, love and weapons

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

Shadowhunters, Raphael Santiago /Simon Lewis, vampire bat's

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

Supernatural, Benny /Dean, they become fairies