It's Monday, so let's start the week with a heaping helping of crack!

[squidgiepdx]

Hello, everyone. I’m squidgiepdx and today's theme is anything you want to do with crack. Prompts can be just about anything that has to do with crack - like drop Sofia from Golden Girls into Stargate Atlantis. Or maybe you can take a crack at a sex pollen prompt, because if any trope is cracky, it's sex pollen. But if that doesn't touch you, then maybe it's a literal crack, like leaning against a window in a high rise, and the panic you feel when the window cracks. Whatever you think about crack, today's the day to prompt!

Just a few rules:
No more than five prompts in a row.
No more than three prompts in the same fandom.
Use the character's full names and fandom's full name for ease adding to the Lonely Prompts spreadsheet.
No spoilers in prompts for a month after airing, or use the spoiler cut option found here.
If your fill contains spoilers, warn and leave plenty of space, or use the spoiler cut.
If there are possible triggers in your story, please warn for them in the subject line!

Prompts should be formatted as follows: [Use the character's full names and fandom's full name]
Fandom, Character +/ Character, Prompt

Some examples to get the ball rolling...
+ Letterkenny, Wayne/Daryl, Wayne going uncharacteristically wild at Letterkenny's first pride parade
+ Stargate Atlantis + The Golden Girls, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay + Sophia, They run into Sophia before Atlantis departs San Francisco for Pegasus
+ Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, A curse turns Danny into an otter; an unhappy, fidgety otter.

We use AO3 to bookmark filled prompts. If you fill a prompt and post it to AO3 please add it to the Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2018 collection. See further notes on this new option here.

Not feeling any of today’s prompts? Check out Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 1 (not very current), Lonely Prompts Spreadsheet 2, or the Calendar Archives, or for more recent prompts, you can use LJ's advanced search options to find prompts to request and/or fill.

While the Lonely Prompts Spreadsheets and LJ's advanced search options are available, bookmarking the links of prompts you like might work better for searching for in the future.


tag=crack

Comments

[squidgiepdx]

Letterkenny, Wayne/Daryl, Wayne going uncharacteristically wild at Letterkenny's first pride parade

[squidgiepdx]

Stargate Atlantis + The Golden Girls, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay + Sophia, They run into Sophia before Atlantis departs San Francisco for Pegasus

[squidgiepdx]

Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, A curse turns Danny into an otter; an unhappy, fidgety otter.

Fill -- Why I Otter

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Ancient Hawaiian curses are the worst, Steve McGarrett thinks, pulling out his phone. Thanks to this one--likely triggered by something in the cave they’d pursued their suspect into--his partner is now an otter. Steve had to turn interrogation of the dirt-bag over to Grover and try to find a way to reverse the curse. Not, he would be the first to tell you, that he cares if Danny Williams stays an otter forever, but Grace would never let him hear the end of it.

While he’s checking with Jerry to see if the pictures of those symbols they’d found carved into the coral rock of the cave offer an explanation or cure for Danny’s transformation, Danny paces the back of Steve’s leather couch at a gallop, sharp little claws digging into the expensive leather.

“I’m working on it! Don’t destroy my office.”

“Eeeeheh!” is Danny’s response.

“I’m just saying, the governor won’t understand why I need another couch.” Otter’s paws are remarkably like hands; Steve has no trouble interpreting that gesture. Just then, thank goodness, he has a normal person to deal with--and then that person is Jerry, you know things are bad. “Hey, Jerry--what have you got for me?”

Danny scampers from the couch, disappearing from sight under Steve’s desk. For a moment, things are suspiciously quiet, then Danny reappears. The otter has climbed up to the rim of Steve’s 30-gallon saltwater aquarium and is regarding the fish thoughtfully. Knowing Danny is more of a ‘Beef: it’s what’s for dinner!’ kind of guy, Steve doesn’t think too much of it, until he dives in with a splash.

“Hey!” Steve bellows, mentally adding carpet-cleaning onto the expense of this little fiasco. “Get out of there! No, not you, Jer--he’s in my freakin’ fish tank!”

More than that, the otter has found Nemo--and is having him for lunch. He’s floating belly-up like a hairy old man in a bathtub, holding Steve’s prized clown fish like a submarine sandwich and chomping away with gusto at his no-longer-wriggling prey.

“That’s disgusting,” Steve tells him when he hangs up. “You’re hungry? We’ll pick up some sushi--”

Danny emits a defiant “Eeeeheh!” before submerging again.

Steve takes the precaution of making sure his office door is closed before attempting to get him out of there. If having an otter tear up his office is bad, it’s nothing compared to the havoc he could wreak if he was at large in the building. It costs him the blue tang, as Danny resurfaces with it--still alive, which gives Steve momentary hope--

“Don’t you dare!” he hollers. Danny looks him right in the eye and rips into it. Bye-bye, Dory…. “Okay, that’s it!” He crosses the room to the tank.

Danny throws the fish at him, hitting him squarely in the face with it, guts and all. The fish bounces off his chest and falls to the carpet with one final flop.

Nimbly, Danny hauls himself out of the aquarium with a small tsunami in his wake. Steve almost has him as he scampers across his desk, but his foot skids on the wet rug. Onto the office chair, up the back, the otter perches on top, chittering fiercely, probably objecting to Steve’s unstated plan to have him ride in that cat carrier he borrowed from Kono.

‘Slippery when wet’ isn’t just an album from one of Danny’s fellow Jerseyites--it is very, very true of otters, as Steve finds out.

Danny bounces back to the couch, darts along the back and launches himself into the air--aiming for the doorknob. Tiny prehensile paws grip the knob, which starts to turn, much to Steve’s horror. Eight pounds of otter cling for all he’s worth…but those eight pounds are mostly in the tail section…the delicate digits lose their grip.

Otters, unlike cats, do not land on their feet.

Steve seizes the recalcitrant omnivore by the scruff of its neck. He has difficulty wrestling it into the car carrier, eventually accomplished by opening the carrier, standing it on end and dropping Danny in butt-first. He closes it, swiftly securing the hatch with a cable tie, two bungee cords and a pair of handcuffs.

“Not that I don’t trust you,” he gasps. “I just don’t trust you.”

“Eeeeheh!” Familiar with Danny’s diatribes, Steve can guess what he’s saying.

“Yeah, yeah.” Now to go find the contact who Jerry swears is the best kahuna on the island.

…

[squidgiepdx]

Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, John keeps breaking the fourth wall

[squidgiepdx]

Any, Any/Any, Someone knocks their head and thinks they're a character from a Shakespearean play

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, Any m/m, Love Potion No. 9

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bucky Barnes +/ Steve Rogers, when Bucky gets overly stressed out he inadvertently shifts into an animal form

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

“Bucky, I’m back!” Steve Rogers called as he entered their apartment.

There was no reply, nothing to indicate Bucky was there, but somehow Steve knew he was. He went into the bedroom and peered under the bed. A pair of bright green eyes looked at him from the furthest corner.

“Bad day, huh?”

The cat blinked.

“I’m just going to fix myself a sandwich and some coffee and take it to the sofa,” Steve told the cat. “Join me when you’re ready.”

Snack sorted, Steve collapsed onto the sofa and switched the television on. After a while the cat joined him, curling up into a tight ball. Gently Steve began to stroke the cat, which slowly uncurled and began to purr. Steve continued, feeling the cat relax under his touch. Finally, the cat stretched out and jumped off the sofa, before trotting back into the bedroom.

Two minutes later Bucky came out of the bedroom and said, “Yeah, bad day!”

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Steve uses magic to woo Danny

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Stargate Multiverse, Any, a run-in with alien tech makes them fall in love with an inanimate object

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, ensemble, former idols enlisted in the South Korean military have been sent to Atlantis and in their spare time they run a dance class

Fill 1/2

[nagi-schwarz.livejournal.com]

“All right!” Wang clapped his hands, and the others stood to attention. “Tonight for technique we are going to focus on isolations. Isolations are key to any kind of hip-hop pop-and-lock. Lee, lead the stretches!”

Lee bowed to him, then stepped to the front of the class. His English was still minimal (though he was excellent at commenting on the weather, of all things, and ordering food), but by now Rodney knew the routine.

“This is all your fault,” he hissed at John while he started neck rolls.

John glared at him. “Shut up, or we’ll have to do push-ups.”

When one of the boys on Team Pegasus had offered to run a dance class for anyone who was interested - as if any of the Marines or scientists were interested - the others had been dubious, but in an effort to promote expedition solidarity, John had insisted that AR-1 go along to the dance class once a week.

Rodney was musical, but he was not a dancer. Teyla was naturally graceful, looked like she was dancing when she was fighting. She and Ronon both caught on fast, because apparently choreography was like learning fight moves. John was coordinated but not particularly graceful, and he could following along and keep up even if he never looked any good. As it turned out, some of the Marines were into hip-hop dancing, and they’d formed a little dance troupe of their own, came along for technique and choreography tips.

More than a few scientists came along because the members of Team Pegasus were attractive. Rodney wouldn’t deny that they were attractive men - some pretty, some handsome - but no amount of attractiveness was worth repeated public humiliation.
Expedition unity, however, was worth the effort. Or so John said. Rodney was convinced that John dragged Rodney along for the amusement. Rodney’s only saving grace was that Major Lorne was just as awful a dancer as he was. He submitted to lessons with cheerful self-deprecation, ended up tripping and knocking over his classmates at least once a class. As long as Lorne was in class, Rodney wasn’t the worst dancer.

Once stretching was done, it was Shin who took over. His English wasn’t great but his French was fluent, which made it easy for Rodney to talk to him. However, Wang and Kang both spoke really good English, so they usually translated for him, because their official interpreter needed a break once in a while.

“Isolation is key not only to make your sharp moves look sharp but also so your smooth moves look smooth,” Kang said, translating as Shin spoke.

There were giggles when Shin hooked his thumb in the hem of his shirt and hiked it up, showed off his impressive abs.

“This looks smooth, right?” Kang said.

Shin executed a belly roll that looked like something out of some black-and-white desert fantasy movie with a girl dressed like I Dream of Jeannie.

“However, to accomplish this move, you need to be able to isolate each muscle group and move them independently,” Shin said, and Rodney watched, mildly horrified, as he did a stop-and-start belly roll that better belonged in an alien horror film than on a dance floor.

Everyone else around Rodney was nodding, like what Shin was saying made perfect sense and wasn’t totally insane. Beside Rodney, Lorne hiked up his own tank top and executed a perfect belly roll.

“The trick to learning this,” Shin continued, “is not to use your back. If you lie on the floor and practice flexing each muscle group one at a time till you can consistently isolate each one, you’ll be able to do it standing up. And you’ll be able to do it in different directions.”

To demonstrate, he lay on his back, and everyone else followed.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind,” Rodney said, but he lay down.

By the end of practice Rodney wasn’t any better able to pull off a belly roll, and also he was pretty sure he’d damaged his intestines, but then blissfully they were allowed back up on their feet.

To work on the choreography that they were learning. It was something simple that Shin had come up with himself, from back on Earth, set to a song he’d written. There weren’t any hideous level changes or complicated floor work, and because the song was repetitive, it was short to learn, since choruses repeated themselves.

[brumeier.livejournal.com]

Any, any m/m, one of them is secretly a gargoyle

Not a fill...

[squidgiepdx]

...but as soon as I read your prompt, all of the sudden I had the image of a grinning Danny Williams in my head. :)

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, ensemble, the end result of a raucous night filled with drunken karaoke

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Avengers ensemble, spin the bottle

[sherlockian-syn.livejournal.com]

Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay,

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
(Leonard Cohen - Anthem)

[geckogirl89.livejournal.com]

DCEU, Diana Prince, I like to get all tied up and rescue myself then it's off to the park, and a scoop of ice cream for my hero (A Softer World, 204)

[geckogirl89.livejournal.com]

Angel the series, Cordelia Chase + any, (847): You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard

[geckogirl89.livejournal.com]

Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett, I drove that car into the ocean. And if you don't see why that is awesome maybe you shouldn't be in the business of renting out cars. (A Softer World, 330)

[geckogirl89.livejournal.com]

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers +/ any, (603): I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character

[geckogirl89.livejournal.com]

Any, any:
Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body
(Snow Patrol, “Crack The Shutters”)

Fill: NCIS, Nick/Ellie

[helsinkibaby.livejournal.com]

It’s not the morning light streaming through the blinds that wakes Ellie, though it does make her screw up her eyes and press her face deeper into the pillow. Rather, it’s the draught of cool air that disturbs her slumber, has her reaching for the covers with her eyes still closed.

She hears an amused chuckle, accompanied by, “Oh no you don’t.” The covers move again, downwards, and she opens her eyes then, turns over as she gives up trying to pull them back up and tries instead to keep them where they are at waist height.

“Nick, it’s freezing,” she protests, even if it’s not exactly true. It’s January in Washington, sure, buther apartment is warm, central heating having been on for a good hour already. Still, under the covers is warmer still and she’d really like to stay there for another little while.

Again, he tugs at the covers. “I’ll warm you up,” he promises, his smile as warm as his eyes and she almost, almost gives in, just from that.

Then she sees the way his eyes are roaming down her body, across her naked chest and stomach and she feels herself flushing, suddenly shy. “Nick...”

“I just want to see you, Ellie...” He counters her use of his name with his use of hers and strangely enough, that’s all it takes to still her protests on her tongue. He rarely calls her Ellie - most of the time, when he’s talking her, when they’re on the clock, it’s Bishop. Most of the time when he’s talking to her, it’s B. But last night, their first night together, it had been Ellie and the memories of that make a different kind of heat flood her limbs. His lips twist in a smile that’s half embarrassed, half teasing and she realises that he has no idea what he’s doing to her. “I didn’t exactly get a chance last night.”

She actually giggles at that, reaches up and lays her hand on his cheek. His stubble is rough against her palm and it scratches delightfully when he turns his head and presses a kiss there. “You were a little impatient,” she allows and he counters that immediately.

“I didn’t hear any complaints.” His stubble feels even more delightful as he kisses her shoulder, more delightful still as it travels down her body. He takes his time, worshipping every inch of her and, just like last night, Ellie has no complaints.

Prompts

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

The Avengers: Infinity War, Bruce Banner + The Incredible Hulk + anyone else, That scene where Bruce is literally beating Hulk by slapping himself in the face, I want someone to call it out as abuse and make him stop doing that.

[tigriswolf]

DCU/MCU, Wade Wilson + Jason Todd, Deadpool adopts Jason Todd (after his resurrection but before Red Hood or AS Red Hood) and the world shudders in fear

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Lucifer, any character(s), "Earth Girls Are Easy" a.u.

[impala-chick.livejournal.com]

Letterkenny, Reilly/Jonesy/katy, AU where Katy is the hockey player and Reilly and Jonesy are her biggest fans

[impala-chick.livejournal.com]

Letterkenny, Wayne/Darry, They go cologne-sampling to find a new scent

[impala-chick.livejournal.com]

Letterkenny, Wayne/Darry, What's with Darry and Yogurt?