Monday: Crack
May. 10th, 2010 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prototypical posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
comment_ficHello there! I'm calliopepurple and I'm your guest host this week.
Today, we're going with an old standby this comm hasn't done in a while. That's right, it's Crack Day! Time to break out the ridiculous ideas and prompts you wouldn't stick up any other day and make people laugh to start the week off.
Whether you're old or new, here's a recap of The Rules
- No more than five prompts in a row or three for any given fandom. Once they're answered, you can ask for more.
- No spoilers in your prompt until at least 1 week after the original airing or publication date. If there are spoilers in your fic, you must warn in bold and leave at least 3 spaces.
- Please thank the people who fill your prompts. Everyone loves feedback.
- Be nice to the hardworking code monkeys and format your prompts correctly.
Formatting examples:
Weiss Kreuz, Schuldig, sticking a song in everyone's head
Author's choice, author's choice, discovering Robot Unicorn Attack
Any series in space, author's choice, zero gravity shenanigans
If nothing looks good today, we have a lovely large collection of Lonely Prompts always waiting for homes!
[theme tag=crack]
Today, we're going with an old standby this comm hasn't done in a while. That's right, it's Crack Day! Time to break out the ridiculous ideas and prompts you wouldn't stick up any other day and make people laugh to start the week off.
Whether you're old or new, here's a recap of The Rules
- No more than five prompts in a row or three for any given fandom. Once they're answered, you can ask for more.
- No spoilers in your prompt until at least 1 week after the original airing or publication date. If there are spoilers in your fic, you must warn in bold and leave at least 3 spaces.
- Please thank the people who fill your prompts. Everyone loves feedback.
- Be nice to the hardworking code monkeys and format your prompts correctly.
Formatting examples:
Weiss Kreuz, Schuldig, sticking a song in everyone's head
Author's choice, author's choice, discovering Robot Unicorn Attack
Any series in space, author's choice, zero gravity shenanigans
If nothing looks good today, we have a lovely large collection of Lonely Prompts always waiting for homes!
[theme tag=crack]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:33 pm (UTC)More Contagous Than the Flu, and Ten Times More Annoying
Date: 2010-05-11 08:09 am (UTC)The day didn't get much better, but Schuldig was lost in his fog of being generally angry at the world. It wasn't until he'd showered, dressed, gotten his coffee, and went out for a walk to go get donuts (man, did Nagi really have to eat every donut in the house? Sure, he was going through puberty, but SERIOUSLY?) that Schuldig realized he couldn't hear other people over the repetitive music stuck in his head.
YES!
This improved his mood immensely, though the song was not getting much better. While he enjoyed messing with people's minds, it got tiresome in a hurry to listen to them, constantly. Even too much honey will make you sick, after all. He tried to get something else stuck in his head, but damn, American music had a tendency towards the catchy.
Donuts acquired, he began walking back to the building, munching on one idly. Schuldig didn't really pay attention to his surroundings usually, unless he thought he just might be in danger; usually, the thought patterns of those around him were enough to reassure him that he was surrounded by Japan's Finest Idiots, and that he had nothing to fear from these people. Germany, now that was a different matter. But Japan was pretty much safe.
But he was so distracted from the miserable song stuck in his head that he took a wrong turn, and only noticed it when he was halfway down a block and passing a florist's. Damn. He found an alleyway to cut down, however, and ended up back on the main road, walking back to his building even more annoyed than before.
*****
"Hm hm hm hmmm, hm hm hm hm, hm hm hm hm hm..."
"Whatcha humming, Omi?" Yohji asked, reaching over to ruffle the boy's hair. The usual crowd hadn't gathered yet (school hadn't let out), so they had a few minutes to bring the plants out and water them. Omi had seemed preoccupied for a while, though, and he jumped when Yohji touched him.
"I don't know. It's something in English, it just got stuck in my head. I wonder where I heard it." Omi ducked out from under Yohji's hand, adjusting his hat.
"English, huh? Hmmm. I know a couple of words in it, but not much." Yohji looked thoughtful, leaning against the broom. "What does it sound like?"
"Ne-ba ganna kippu mi daoun." Omi tried, sounding out the syllables. He frowned. "It doens't really make any sense. I don't remember any of the English I learned in school."
"Ah well. Try to think of something else. If you want, I'll sing something for-OW." Yohji stumbled when Aya bumped into him carrying a heavy ceramic-potted plant. "Hey! Everyone's a critic."
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 11:51 pm (UTC)Death Note, PG
From:no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-11 03:55 am (UTC)Clay shot Cougar a desperate look. The sniper shook his head briefly. Clay winced and pouted his lips just slightly, pleading intensely with his eyes. Cougar rolled his eyes and stood. He stalked over to Jensen and stood before him, staring down at the chattering comm man.
"Hey, Cougs. All I'm sayin' is ya gotta be careful when dealing with the quiet ones. I'm sure you can agree with me, if you ever said anything-" Cougar ignored Jensen's constant stream of dialogue and grabbed the soldier by the arm. He lifted him, and led him to one of the side rooms which they had made into sleeping quarters.
The door shut behind them.
Clay stared at the door. They heard the sound of duct tape tearing. Jensen yelped and then there was silence.
Blissful. Wonderful. Silence.
Cougar exited the room alone. As the door swung shut again, Clay caught a glimpse of Jensen thrown on top of one of their duffels, pants down around his ankles and his mouth duct-taped shut.
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Date: 2010-05-10 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:00 pm (UTC)"And Dad didn't even love me! He liked Michael better!"
"I know, I know. It's okay."
"And Gabriel ran away because he thought I was ugly!"
"It's all going to be okay, Lucifer."
"And Michael hates me! He said I was a freak just because I exercised free will!"
"Shh..."
"And no one even likes me and I'm afraid of the dark and even dead people hate me and why?"
"Lucifer." The Cupid gently took hold of Lucifer's shoulders. The devil was sobbing into his hands, sitting in an over-sized armchair, while the Cupid tried to get him to talk about his feelings.
"Sometimes loves hurts, but that's okay, because love is the meaning of life, and I love it, and I want you to know that I love you, and everyone, and God loves everyone, and if you love yourself and love will find you, I promise!" Tears poured down the Cupid's face as he experienced the rapture of love. "Come here!"
They hugged. Lucifer's rotting ear fell off.
Peering in through the window in the office's door, Dean and Sam traded looks.
"Does this mean the Apocalypse is over?"
"Dude, who cares? Lucifer is hugging a naked man. Let's get out of here."
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Date: 2010-05-10 03:40 pm (UTC)Skittles and Unicorns
Date: 2010-06-27 06:43 pm (UTC)Sam really can’t take that quite moping that Dean has taken to. That wasn’t part of who Dean was, so Sam went to the one person who could snap his brother out of it.
“You gotta help me out. He’s not even hitting on the trashy girls in the bars. He just sits there, drinking. It’s not him.”
“So what do you want me to do?” Gabriel arched a brow as he folded his arms over his chest. “You just can’t snap your fingers and fix a person. As much as you want me to, it’s not possible.”
“But there’s got to be something we can do, yeah?”
“There’s might be something,” Gabriel unfolded his arms and stuck his hands deep in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet. “But it requires copious amount of skittles, unicorns, and the Impala. Plus your implicit trust in my abilities.”
“I don’t think I should trust once you brought up unicorns but right about now I’m willing to do anything.”
“Alright then, let’s do this.” Gabriel snapped his fingers and they started filling the Impala to the brim with the rainbow. “The unicorns don’t come until later, Sam. And they’re stuffed.”
“Still doesn’t make me feel any better about it.”
“Have you no faith?” Gabriel tossed a Skittle at Sam’s forehead and grinned when it plunked off his nose and hit the ground. “Pick that up. We don’t want to leave an evidence trail.”
“Yes master.”
“Don’t you forget it.” Gabriel grinned wide before emptying another bag in through an open window.
“Can’t you just snap your fingers and be done with this?”
“Where’s the fun in that? Plus I gotta do that for the unicorns.” Gabriel tossed an unopened bag over the roof of the Impala.
“What is it with you and unicorns?”
“I’ll never tell,” Gabriel sing-songed. “Plus you’re lucky I like your brother, otherwise I wouldn’t bother with this childish task. Only he would be amused by it.”
“I am lucky.” Sam smirked.
“So it’ll take about six hours and then we should be able to get about an hour of questioning in before…” Dean trailed off as he took in the rainbow candies pressed against all windows of his car. “What the hell did you do to her?”
Dean shuffled around the Impala, hands skating just above the air of the shiny black paint with shock painted all over his face. “If I have rainbow colored dash or seats I’m going to kill me a Winchester and a Gabriel.”
“Just open the door and get it over with,” Sam grinned and gestured towards the door handle and Dean placed his hand on the handled with a grimace and yanked it open and jumped back. When he opened it skittles didn’t pop out but stuffed unicorns fell at his feet. Dean started at the skittles turned unicorns and he lost it.
“Skittles and Unicorns?” Dean clutched at his stomach, laughing so hard he crumbled onto the ground, tears falling from his eyes. Sam let the infectious laughter take effect and he laughed with his brother. “Sam you are a genius. A mopey bastard at times but a genius.”
Sam offered a hand up and the unicorns disappeared, all but on that was sitting on the dash of the Impala when they settled. “Thanks man, I needed that.”
“No problem, don’t let it happen again or Gabriel will actually do something crazy.”
“No doubt, man. No doubt.”
Sam said nothing about the lone unicorn with a pack of skittles that sat audience to their bickering the whole six hours to the next haunt they were checking out. It amused Dean to no end, so why bother.
Re: Skittles and Unicorns
From:Re: Skittles and Unicorns
From:no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:47 pm (UTC)no fic
Date: 2010-05-10 05:15 pm (UTC)The Jacks
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5278345/1/The_Jacks
Re: no fic
From:No fic but...
From:Re: No fic but...
From:no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:53 pm (UTC)Worse Than This
Date: 2010-05-17 04:50 pm (UTC)He didn’t let his annoyance show whenever the archangel called him ‘Zach’ instead of his proper name, just grit his teeth and did his best to ignore it. However, he did keep a running tally of each incidence, though he wasn’t sure yet just what he’d do with it when all this was over.
He even made nice with the Winchesters and the little upstart angel that had somehow received special permission to remain on earth once the whole apocalypse thing had been trashed. And if he had to console himself with very detailed and intense daydreams of just what he’d like to do to any of them given enough resources and half a chance, well. No one else had to know.
This, however, was going too far.
“C’mon, Zach,” Gabriel wheedled. “One ride. Just one and I’ll let you sulk in the hotel room for the next week.”
A full week of no Gabriel, Castiel or Winchesters to darken his sights was very tempting, Zachariah had to admit. However, he wasn’t convinced it was worth the cost.
“No,” he repeated, eighth time in two minutes. Gabriel pushed his lower lip out in what Zachariah had finally determined was a classic ‘pout’ expression. He wasn’t sure what the purpose of it was, just yet.
“Pleeeeeaaaase,” the archangel whined. “Take one ride and you can have two weeks.” The lip pushed out even further and the Seraph vaguely wondered if that was actually possible for human physiology.
Zachariah considered it. “Two weeks of absolute privacy and no pranking me for three.”
Gabriel was definitely defying physical possibilities with that lip, the Seraph decided. However, the Trickster-Archangel was also considering the offer.
“Deal,” Gabriel said finally, holding out a hand.
Zachariah felt his Grace wither a little bit more, but he shook Gabriel’s hand. Sighing, he looked at the cost of freedom, however temporary.
The elephant stood placidly as he climbed the stairs and gingerly shifted himself astride the beast’s back. Glancing down, he blinked at the odd contraption Gabriel was now holding. What was he…? Then a white square was pushed out of the bottom of it and Gabriel waved it around before peering at it and Zachariah considered transferring to Hell, permanently.
Surely it couldn’t be worse than this.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:55 pm (UTC)I've thrown this out before somewhere or other, but it never stops being funny.
FF13: Hasty Adultery
Date: 2010-05-11 06:18 am (UTC)Fang waved her long, red staff to the star-speckled sky, producing a bright blue light from its pointed tips. She and Snow had already begun undressing themselves eagerly as the magic encircled them both. The group of six was camping for the night after just arriving at the beautiful and feral Gran Pulse. Snow and Fang had waited patiently into the wee hours of the night for everyone to fall asleep until abandoning their sleeping posts around the dead fire to creep off together.
Recently, suspicion had grown amongst some of the younger friends, such as Vanille. She and Fang had a long history together, dating back to before anyone here was ever born, so of course she’d figure them out sooner or later. But Fang and Snow still couldn’t resist each other, and so they put their magic to good use.
The Haste spell made their hearts palpitate to racing speeds, faster than any normal human. Snow chuckled inwardly as this was the feeling he lavished when summoning Shiva and sporting a ride while ruthlessly cutting through his enemies.
They felt their limbs prickling with untamable energy as blood rapidly circulated throughout their bodies. And, like a flash of Thundara, Snow was on top of Fang on the grassy floor, sawing in and out, in and out. His powerful gloved hands held her firmly in place as she moaned in sync with his thrusts.
To any normal-paced person’s ears the sounds these two were making would’ve sounded a few octaves higher, like mice going at it, like Alvin and the Chipmunks singing Like a Virgin.
Obviously, it didn’t take long, about 3 minutes to be exact, until they were both spent and lying exhausted on the ground beside one another, taking long gulps of air to steady their slowing lungs. The enchantment was wearing off.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 03:59 pm (UTC)(this could possibly turn very confusing...!)
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:01 pm (UTC)(Sorry, just getting down from the high of All Hell Breaks Loose last saturday. Love you forever if you could make this tho!)
No fic
Date: 2010-05-10 04:51 pm (UTC)No Fic Yet
From:Re: No Fic Yet
From:no fic
From:SuperCon (Castiel, Becky, Chuck)
From:Re: SuperCon (Castiel, Becky, Chuck)
From:Re: SuperCon (Castiel, Becky, Chuck)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:08 pm (UTC)No fic but...
Date: 2010-05-10 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:10 pm (UTC)I't been in my head for weeks. SOMEONE HELP ME.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-11 11:10 pm (UTC)Welcome to the World (http://pandionpandeus.livejournal.com/4315.html)
no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-10 04:19 pm (UTC)